


Little do you know

by LustilyFaust



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Abuse, Age Difference, All The Ships, Angst, Anxiety, Bondage, Consensual Underage Sex, Domestic Violence, Exhibitionism, F/M, First Love, Friendship, Gang Violence, Graphic Violence, Hana Awakusu, Harassment, High school bullying, Isolation, Light Masochism, Light Sadism, Lonliness, Love Triangles, Manipulation, Masturbation, Minor Violence, Older Man/Younger Woman, Oral Sex, Original Character - Freeform, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Puberty, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reverse Harem, Sexual Fantasy, Shameless Smut, Smut, Vouyerism, new sexuality, shamless smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-27 18:39:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10814532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LustilyFaust/pseuds/LustilyFaust
Summary: Hana Awakusu is the bastard child Mikiya Awakusu. Unlike her sister, Akane, she is raised in the underbelly of Ikebukuro. She loves all that is the city, crime included. Things in her life start taking a turn for the worse when her new group of friends, Masomi, Anri and Mikado, bring her into the interest of a certain Information Broker.What will her body guard, Akabayashi have to say about Hana's newfound acquaintance with the most dangerous man in Ikebukuro?





	1. I'm still trying to pick myself up piece by piece

**Author's Note:**

> Redid the entire work, and continuing on with it in hopes to get EVERY CHARACTER IN HERE. Enjoy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTT
> 
> This came about because I wonder how it would go down to form relationships with mobsters and information brokers.  
> Who are these people who live in the dark and commit the unspeakable and more importantly, who do they get off with !!
> 
> Revamped, finally taking the fic seriously and going through and actually making it PRETTTTTY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted a story about Ikebukuro and to live out my love for the mobster and Izaya lol. My goal is to get EVERY CHARACTER in this story at some point. Going to try and follow the events of the anime series. ^_^

Hana never understood the attention she received. People were always fascinated with her blonde hair and family name, Awakusu  
Both things only served to irritate her. Her blonde hair made her an outcast in a sea of black haired people, and foreigners were not well liked in Ikebukuro. They mostly brought drugs and trouble to the already crime stricken city.

Her surname, Awakusu, made her peers afraid of her even if they would accept a foreigner. They would instantly retreat upon learning her name. No parents would allow their children to associate with the child of a gang lord.

_She laughed at the thought._

Even within her family, she too was an outcast. She was the bastard child of her father, the leader of the Awakusu. Her mother had left her in the care of her father as an infant, and then taken his money to never return.

Her father made sure she never went without anything, but the requirements and happiness of his real family always came first. His wife had never forgiven him for the shame he brought on their marriage and took it out on Hana. She was forced to live alone, in the depths of the city and was never welcome on the holidays.

Her father often came to visit her and sometimes brought her younger half sibling, Akane, but otherwise it was just Hana, alone in her little world,

_until recently._

Gangs were active in Ikebukuro and war was stirring. Mostly with the younger crowd where color gangs were prominent and an online gang known as, **the dollars** , were rising. Her father felt like she could be a target. Hana was more suspicious he worried that starting high school would bring boys into her small world.

_If only he knew how well his name tacked onto hers kept them away._

Masaomi was the only one brave enough to hang out with Hana. She valued her one friend for never batting an eyelash about anything. Hana suspected it was because he understood how hard it was to escape the gangs of Ikebukuro. Being the former ringleader of the **yellow scarves** was a hard gig to walk away from. The two of them understood each other. Her world meshed with his and they never had to explain anything.

For whatever reason Hana’s father had taken to involving her in the family business from an early age.  
_(A perk of being the bastard child without a mother to protest the indecency of raising a young girl around gang members.)_

While her sister was coddled and pruned,Hana was being exposed to the violence of the secrets that came with the Awakusu name. Father never let her look away. She sometimes wondered if it was his way of protecting her, being unable to pull her into the protection of his family life that Akane lived in.

 She spent all her time playing with his street fighters and being babysat by his thugs. They all took it seriously, raising her as one of them. As puberty hit, things became harder.

_It was no longer easy to pretend Hana wasn't a girl._

They wanted to protect her and treat her differently. The change frustrated her and confused her identity. Entering high school meant she had to think about a future. Hana wanted that future to be in the family business but her father had began pushing towards marriage and children. A life far away from the one she had grown up in.

* * *

 

 Hana laid in bed, the early morning sun peeking through her window. She exhaled allowing her frustration to flow out. After getting dressed she headed to do some early morning kick boxing. It always made her feel better, and this early no one would be there.

_Or so she thought._

Akabayashi and his head of dark red hair was sitting on a chair. It was strange seeing the man in something other than a suit. For someone his age, his body was still well defined with ripples of muscle lining his arms and abdomen. Beads of sweat rolled down his face as he looked up to give her a grin

Even on casual terms the man was terrifying.

He was kind to Hana but she always understood why he had the reputation as the, **red demon**.

She laughed, noting how strange it was that he even worked out in his glasses, but in many ways she was thankful. She always had the hardest time not staring at his other eye.

“Round two it is.” he said, challenging her to a match.  
“What? I haven't even warmed up.” she replied nervously.  
“and I'm worn out, so that gives you a chance.”

Hana stared at his back not wanting to follow him, but knew she couldn't refuse. They stood across from each other, the older man looking her up and down. It made her suddenly self conscious of her bare midriff and tight pants.

His movement caught her off guard and she raised her block barely in time to save her face from his foot. The force sent her backwards onto the floor but she managed to roll away from the crushing blow that attempted to follow her.

“You didn’t think I was going to treat you like all those other pansies who won't hit a girl, did you? You walk into this gym you had better be ready to fight.” he growled.

He kept her on the defensive, using his ground to keep her down. She was forced to continue to roll away, trying to scramble to her feet, but his barrage was relentless. Hana finally found her zone, refusing to retreat in fear a moment longer. Her foot smashed into his bad knee cap, sending him to his knee’s Moving quickly, she elbowed him in the jaw, sending him to his side.

Without a moment's hesitation she rolled on top of him, pressing her forearm firmly against his throat. For a single triumphant moment she thought he had given up, but his mouth broke into a cruel grin.

An unkind knee jammed itself into her crotch, bruising her lady bits. Using that as his leverage he rolled her violently off of him. The wind knocked out of her as her back hit the floor. His knee remained locked against her crotch, positioning her where he wanted. His own arm mimicked hers, forearm crushing her throat.

She spluttered, reaching her hands towards his eyes, trying to scratch them to get free. She only managed to knock his glasses free, _exposing his eye._ His maniacal grin, mixed with the bulging eye that seemed to glow red. It was as though a monster lay dormant within him.

“Is it really fair to hit a man in his weak spot?”

She couldn't reply, his arm refused to relent until she was blue satisfied with his win, he released her throat and pinned her arms instead. She gasped in air, unable to look away from from his amused features. The heat was quickly rising in her face. His knee was still firmly pressed against her clitoris, but the pain was quickly blurring to pleasure. His muscled body was firm against hers. It was like a cement wall she could never budge. He eyed her curiously as his scary face softened.

“You fought me like a boy, but when it comes to a battle of strength you will never have the strength to match me. You gave me the win by getting into range for me to overpower you.”  
Her anger burned her cheeks, it was the truth everyone seemed to repeat recently.

_She would never be a boy….or as valuable._

Without thinking she snuck her her knee around his frame and jammied it unkindly into his groin. The grin became an, oof. His body loosened it’s grip and she rolled free. Springing to her feed she wiped the sweat from her face.

“Yeah well, you underestimated my groin, it likes to take a good pounding, yours not so much.” she said sarcastically.

He barked with laughter, making his own way slowly to his feet. He stood close to her, amusement being replaced with sternness. He assessed her with one handsome eye and one mutilated eye.

“You been seeing anyone at school? Is that Kida, **yellow scarf** trash been over after hours?” he said, his voice a low growl.

They were no longer just messing around, he was working. Searching for the secrets her father was afraid she was hiding.  
She was tired of answering the same accusatory, slut shaming questions.. Endless interrogations had been thrown at her since the summer when Akabayashi had been made her full time bodyguard.

The man took his job seriously and had no problem tormenting her in the process of obtaining information he wanted.  
He particularly enjoyed to point his suspicions about her ‘loner status’, as though the her lack of friends was a ploy to throw him off the scent She told him no one wanted to hangout with the girl who gets picked up by scar-face everyday.

_He didn’t find it very amusing, but she thought she was hilarious._

Then he started making side eye's at Masaomi, but otherwise kept his mouth shut. It was common knowledge Masaomi had been involved with the **yellow scarves**. Akabayashi was not entire convinced Masaomi was as repentant as he claimed. According to the man, you can never wipe yourself clean of the lifestyle.

Lucky for Hana her friend never paid any attention to the scary man that followed her around. Otherwise she really would be alone.

“I feel like you spend enough time stalking my life to know the answer to that question.” she replied, turning away from him to hide her embarrassed face.

A Firm hand grabbed her shoulder, the other grabbing her waist to turn her back around. It was rough against her bare stomach. His grip was strong, bruising her pale hip. He stepped in close, an intimidation tactic she was used to, but not immune to. His expression was that of someone who did not believe her. He was ready to fight her for the truth. She did not feel like admitting to the embarrassment that was the truth of her life.

“That’s not a straight answer and you know what we do to those who won’t talk straight. “ he pressed, his hot breath hitting her face.

His closeness burned against her body. No one had ever touched her, pulled her close, or had their bare hands on her body before. It caused her to explode in teenage-sexual excitement. Her body deluding herself, that maybe, after so long she would finally receive the pleasures her body craved.

* * *

   
The truth was, Hana was the daughter of a gang Lord, abandoned by her mother and raised by the roughest men in the city.

_There had been no hugging as a child, or at all. Only fighting._

No one to run to when she felt lonely. It was her and her empty house. Fighting and the family business were all she had to cling to. Anything to make her feel needed.  
She wandered school alone, eating her lunch in silence everyday. She had nothing until the day she happened upon Masaomi fighting with some of her father's men. They wanted to take him away, but Hana refused to let them. Miraculously they listened to her that day, perhaps taking pity on her need for a friend.

Masaomi was the kind of person everyone becomes fast friends with. He and Hana had never been anything more than friends. Close friends, but still, just friends.

For spending so much time observing, Akabayashi missed so much.

Hana hadn’t even mustered the courage to hug her friend, though many times she wanted nothing more.

* * *

   
  
She looked away from him, staring firmly at the ground. Her training told her Akabayashi would see it as a sign of her lying, but she couldn’t stop herself. She couldn’t bare to be humiliated in front of the red demon.

“Masaomi has a girlfriend, her name is Saki.” she said to the ground.

She wanted to run, escape the entire strange situation. On one hand she felt like she was speaking to her dad, having the awkward sex talk, on the other, he was unnaturally close, holding her in a way her father never would. It was a confused experience for her emotions and body. She found the strong man undeniably attractive, regardless of age. Though part of her suspected it was due to her lack of real life experiences with boys.

Most just feared this man but Hana found that trait alluring and his rough hands a twisted turn on.

“And anyone else?” he asked, his large hand taking her chin and moving it to face him.

She was trapped, her eyes mistakenly locking onto the eye she always tried to avoid. It stared into her soul, red glinting behind the pupil.

“There is no one else.” she answered, just wanting to break free.  
“Other friends?”

Hana lost the battle to the pull of his eye. Her ability to run or preserve her dignity faded as she stared into the it feeling far away from the situation.

“What friends? No one wants to be friends with the gajin daughter of the Awakusu .”

His face changed watching her. It almost softened, the red glint fading away like a sunset. The trance like state releasing it's hold on her. They stood silently, looking back and forth, Hana’s breathing feeling obscenely loud.

Without a word his hand moved slowly to her face. She flinched, expecting a reprimand, but instead his thumb pressed against her cheek wiping away a stray tear she had not realized had fallen.

The softness startled her, the betrayal of her emotions humiliating her even more.  
In a desperate need to flee she yanked herself away from his grasp and turned heel to get out the door and far away from the tormenting man.

Part of her suspected he had mercifully let her run away. Perhaps he thought she had cried because of him and not the pathetic state of her life.

_Or maybe a girl in tears was the one thing the strong man was afraid of._

* * *

 

 Another morning another school day. Akabayashi was absent from her walk. She was thankful not to be forced to endure an awkward car ride with the man after their encounter. Hana washed off her humiliation in a cold shower before dressing in her pretty blue uniform and heading to Raira Academy.

 The sun shone brightly, warming her chilled arms. The summer days were becoming cool Autumn nights, but Hana still wore her summer uniform. She was not ready to give into the trend of switching to the winter uniform.  
All around her the kids were dressed in their long sleeve uniforms. They were forced to roll up their sleeves as the sun made them pay for their choice. Hana would be the sore thumb, in her short skirt, enjoying the slight chill.

Masaomi’s blonde head appeared, he too wearing his summer uniform.

“ I swear they pull those uniforms out earlier and earlier every year.” he sighed.

His bright smile wiping away her morning gloom.

“Glad to see you didn’t cave to peer pressure.” she teased.  
“Peer pressure, pfftt. Girls don’t like sweaty smelly boys! It is sad though, watching their nice legs disappearing for the winter. I guess I’ll have to admire yours for today.” he winked.  
She scowled at him, “Funnnny.”  
“Heey, you know some guys in class C voted you best legs.”  
“Seriously?”  
“Yeah, but they also said they’d be afraid you’d kick their heads in with those legs."

Hana's hope deflated. Her internal crying showing through.

“I am not afraid, I’ll be glad be the sacrificial lamb.” he said, giving her his seductive face.  
“You sure about that, these legs kicked in Akabayashi this AM.”  
“You spar with that dude? There’s no way he didn’t destroy you.”  
“Okkk so he did destroy me but not before I got a good hit to his balls in.” she gushed, feeling satisfied with her accomplishments.  
“I wonder about you sometimes.” he said shaking his head.  
“Why?” she asked tentatively.  
“Because you can bet anyone else who has ever kicked the red demon in the balls died a slow and painful death!” he exclaimed.  
“I’m pretty sure he’s more likely to peel your skin off than mine.”  
“WHAT??” he yelled, turning to her incredulously,  
“He asked me if we’re having sex.” she replied with an apologetic smile.  
“THAT’S IT WE CAN NEVER BE SEEN TOGETHER EVER AGAIN. I’M SORRY HANA, YOU’RE A BABE BUT I LIKE HAVING MY HANDS.”  
“Shut up Masaomi.” she laughed.  
“Please tell me you set him straight.”  
“Better believe it, told him I had higher standards than that.” she laughed as she bolted away so he couldn’t hit her in retaliation.

* * *

 

 The room was loud around her. Hana sat where she always sat,  
_among her peers but never a part of them._

Her class gathered in groups chatting as they always did. It sucked that Masaomi was in another class. Hana was damned to another day of grueling loneliness.  
Until the the quiet girl with giant breasts entered the room. She was adorable and tentative and new to the class. Hana vaguely wondered how long it would take Masaomi to lay eyes on her and fall hopelessly in love.

The hopeless girl tripped as she walked past Hana’s desk. Cat like reflexes responded before Hana realized what was happening. She had caught the girl, preventing her from hitting the floor.  
The girl smiled and Hana smiled back, feeling uncharacteristically hopeful about the interaction.

“Thanks.” she said quietly.  
“Anytime” Hana smiled back.

She took the open seat behind Hana’s desk so Hana decided to take the plunge and turned around.

“I’m Hana Awakusu.” she said.  
“I’m Anri Sonoharu. Awakusu? I have a dear friend who works for your family. I didn’t know they had a daughter my age.” she replied surprising Hana with her revelation.  
“I’m the illegitimate daughter. My sister is in elementary school. Who’s your friend?”  
“Akayabashi-Sama. He’s looked in on me since I lost my parents.”  
“The more I learn about that man.... well if you’re a friend of his you’re a friend of mine.” Hana declared courageously.

Anri blushed and muttered her thanks.

Their Sensei droned on about all the things he always did. Hana paid little attention, her stomach was too distracting. She forgot to eat breakfast and greatly regretted the decision. The window was cracked allowing a cool breeze to blow across her face, sending her blonde locks flowing into her vision. She took on in her fingers and examined it. Its color was so bright, she sometimes forgot how bright it was in a sea of black glossy hair.

Everywhere she looked she saw straight black hair and brown eyes. Sometimes her own reflection started her, feeling alien. When she was little she tried very hard to change her hair. She cried to her father about hating it. He banned her from doing anything to it, so she sobbed alone, feeling misunderstood.

Akabayashi had found her in the corner after her father had left. His face was kind and he took a lock of her hair and told her it was the prettiest hair he had ever seen. He said; Her father seemed mean, but he was teaching her a valuable lesson about not conforming. Akabayashi too, was different, and sometimes he disliked it, but the Awakusu took what was different and made it into something valuable.

Then he wiped away her tears and sent her off to play. She never again tried to mutilate her hair.

From time to time throughout the years Akabayashi would sometimes give her a peculiar look, taking a strand in his hand. He never said anything, mostly just looked at it before brushing it out of her face and walking away.

_She wondered what he saw, or didn’t see, but she never did have the courage to ask._

Sighing, she peered out the window, noticing a man sitting on a bench just below her classroom. His legs were crossed casually and he watched her with a grin. When they made eye contact he winked, before taking his leave. Hana knew the man by name only,

**Izaya Orihara,**

someone her father never allowed her anywhere near. Though the Awakusu did much business with the Information Broker, they had a great distaste for him. It had always made Hana rebelliously curious about the man.

She raised her hand and asked for the bathroom pass.

* * *

 

 She wandered the open halls, veering past the bathroom and looking out into the empty field.

“Shouldn’t you be in class.” a smooth voice chided.

She turned around to see the man she was looking for, leaning against the wall a few feet behind her.He was casual, his arms crossed and his lips upturned in an amused smile.

“I didn’t realize Information Brokers now dealt in stalking teenagers.”  
“I know quite a few people who would pay a pretty penny for a girl with blonde hair.” he answered, moving forward to touch it for himself.  
“I’m sure that’s true until you attach my name to it. I doubt you would find anyone willing to take an Awakusu.”  
“It’s sad, but to be honest dealing with the grudge of the red dog would not be worth the payout.” he sighed turning to gaze up at the sun. “That dog of yours takes his job very seriously and could make life very annoying for me.”  
“Then why are you here, a walk down memory lane?”  
“I came to give you my invite in person, since I know that dog probably didn’t relay the message.” he replied, turning to her with a grin.

She stared at him, uncertain how to proceed.

“I’ll take that as a yes, he didn’t mention it. He accused me of having an inappropriate taste for high school girls, but I think he’s the one with the taste, seeing as he keeps you locked up to himself..” he simpered sarcastically.  
“Why has the infamous Izaya Orihara taken an interest in an ordinary schoolgirl? I can only reason that you’re the cause of my newfound lock down.” she accused.  
“You can’t blame me for their overprotective nature, I simply threw your name out in a deal recently, it was all business, but apparently they seemed to think it was some sort of threat. Why can nobody trust my intentions.”  
“I’ll let you answer that. Sorry to disappoint you but I have nothing to offer you. I can’t say banging old men is my thing.”  
“Didn’t look that way this morning this morning. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you liked being beat down by that dog.” he replied coolly.

Hana’s face turned red, part with embarrassment part with anger. She was tired of people following her.

“I like the way you openly admit to stalking me.”  
“I”m good at my job.” he said taking a bow.  
“Does it ever phase you, what you do for a living.”  
“Does it ever phase you, what you want to inherit?”

Hana respected his response. She hated being put in a box.

_Izaya Orihara had his own box, a box with a question mark._

Her teenage frustration decided to screw being the good girl they wanted, “Alright Information Broker, I accept your invite. But it’s up to you to occupy my body guard.” she agreed  
“Slumber parties are my favorite. “ he giggled.  
“And you wonder why Akabayashi thinks you’re a perv.” she said, eyebrow raised.  
“Too bad you’re into that, otherwise you’d have left.”

He moved the distance between them, stepping into her space. He was taller than her, but not as much as Akabayashi. He was also much younger, a man of his early twenties. His brown eyes glinted with amusement but his lips formed a straight line while is finger tilted her chin towards him.

Her heart thumped in her chest. Her eagerness for attention was annoying. She wanted to be indifferent but everything about him provoked her. His strange musky smell, like he bathed in the fragrance of the city, but added fruit to it. It burned her nostrils and enticed her with its freedom.

His hair ruffled lazily on his head the breeze lightly ruffling it. He gazed at her, seducing her and ever calculating. Tormenting her sexual frustration was an easy win for him.  
She dared not let her eager heart hope.The Broker wanted nothing more but an advantage.

“A tempting offer. Be sure to throw it out on our date. “ she said feigning more confidence than she felt.

Quickly, she retreated back to her class before he broke through her facade.

He cackled behind her, skipping away across the field.

When she returned to her classroom, they were released for lunch. She sighed inwardly remembering how hungry she was.

* * *

 

 The day was long, but Hana to survive her classes. Unfortunately she was left with class cleanup when her classmates decided she had nothing better to do than do their work for them. She watched them skip away hand in hand taunting her as they went.  
Cleaning was a numbing exercise and also tedious when done alone. She didn’t finish until the sun began to set and the chill began to nip her exposed legs.

Her whole body ached and she just wanted dinner, but the prospect of her empty home just depressed her more. Outside the school she walked across the field, following behind a lingering group of third years. Purposefully, she kept just out of earshot as they exited school grounds.

 _They laughed loudly with each other joking as they went. Like normal people do_.

One of the girls finally noticed Hana trailing behind them and pointed. Hana stopped in place, uncertain how to proceed. The group made no effort not to stare, all of them whirling to face her.

“You doing a late night drug deal for your daddy.” one mocked, causing the others to laugh.  
“nah she’s working on her street walker skills.” another interjected.  
“How much?.” they jeered.

Thankful for the dark as wet, hot tears rolled down her face. It was annoying how sensitive she seemed to be today. She turned around to retreat but ran straight into a hard body standing behind her.  
She heard the startled cries and fleeing feet before she saw **his** face. She didn't really want to look.

The raising of her father told her she was weak. An Awakusu defended their honor, and certainly did not run away crying. The red demon insisted on intruding, surely preparing to accuse her in her moment of humiliation.

She pushed him, trying to get away from him, but his claw like hands had a hold of her wrists before she made any ground  
.  
“Walking away from those tools I applaud. But you’re going to turn and face me whether you want to or not.” he growled.

They wrestled, him bruising her wrists as she persistently tugged against his hold. The stupidity of her pride made her fight, even though she knew it was futile.

Finally, irritation got the better of him and he took a hold of her waist, lifting her from the ground easily. He walked several feet and slammed her back onto the hood of his parked car. Easily, his hands forced her own into submission, his torso taking up residence between her legs.

He looked down at her through his glasses, forcing her to finally face the man.

The sun had left the sky and street lights flickered outside the parking lot. There was still enough light for them to see the other. Hana’s chest heaving, both from the brawl and the close proximity of the man.

His was steady and silent. He waited, allowing her tears to roll off her cheeks without condemnation.

Minutes passed, her chest slowing, and tears drying up. She watched the dark eye as it watched her. It was a strange moment. His grip was hard on her wrists, almost unnecessarily rough, demanding compliance. He was forcing her, but his face was also soft. Concern showed on the lines of it.

* * *

 

 Akabayashi was a gangster, but so unlike the other gangsters. Whenever she had cried as a child she had been chided severely. Her father refused to accept her ‘female weakness’, as he called it. He wanted her to be the son he never had. He raised her in that way, allowing her more freedom than her sister ever received. Hana loved it, but it came with a price. Her sister received the love of a father, Hana only had the approval as a good worker.

She was obedient and he praised her for that, but things never went any deeper.  
In the last year, as she entered High school and her body became that of a grown woman, things became more complicated. He disapproved more and more of her boyish pursuits. She was no longer invited to his business dealings.

Her friends, who had been like her brothers growing up, became awkward and uncomfortable with her changes. They no longer joked around her and averted their eyes, as though fearful her father would accuse them.

 _It was her way, to run and subdue her emotions.  
_ _To be staring the red demon in the eyes with a face full of tears was against every instinct she had ever known._

He had always been different than the others. He was a fearful street fighter, but age had mellowed his temper. He got the job done, but never conformed to people's stereotypes. People respected him for it, though Hana had heard through the grapevine that Akabayashi had a long history of violence to stand upon.  
She had however, never seen him be unreasonable. He had always been around, coming and going as she grew. He often played with her and gave her random pep talks about life, but he had never been a permanent fixture in her life.

Hana honestly hadn't paid much attention to the man until the past summer, when her father had ordered him as her permanent guard. No one had given her any details, Akabayashi had just shown up one day, unapologetically, and never left.

He drove her to and from school, sometimes made her dinner, and checked her homework and ensured she went to summer school. Mostly, he came and went, staying outside as he watched her perimeter. He probably watched her more than she realized. Her new found friendship with Masaomi had set him on high alert and he often disapproved of her time spent with the blonde haired boy.

In the last few weeks things seemed to change. Akabayashi was annoyingly attuned to way more than she cared to admit.No one had ever been around before. Hana never had to worry about anyone noticing her turmoil, but he saw it, written clearly on her face.

_He made sure she knew he saw it._

It was a strange relationship. In many aspects he was like a father to her and she suspected that his motives were rooted in his need to care for her. At some point though, the lines between them, to her, seemed blurred. She just wasn't sure if it was her burgeoning desire for the male sex,

_or if he too felt the tension between them._

* * *

 His body between her legs, her skirt pushed high onto her thigh. She felt the breeze blow cool air across her bare skin. She felt the demand of her arousal move across her spine. It forced her to be acutely aware of his every feature.

 _His perfect suit,_  
_and blue shirt that was slightly unbuttoned,_  
_exposing part of his defined chest._

It was all a blurring image. Heat rose in her cheeks, as his warm breathing blew rhythmically against her cheek. She was trapped beneath him, completely at his mercy. If he decided to do something she was afraid she’d like it.

“Why do those kids torment you like that?” he finally asked, breaking their silence.  
“When have people not tormented me?” she responded curtly.  
“Who else torments you.”  
“You, right now.” she pointed out.

He raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“I want to help you.”  
“Help me or have me?” she corrected.

He laughed softly above her

“Your father would have my head for that sort of talk.” he warned.  
“Is that all that's stopping you then?”  
“Are you trying to tempt me? I’ve seen you grow up kid. Trained with you and served your family my whole adult life.”  
“And now I’m grown and find myself with you on top of me, uncertain why I feel this way.”

He sighed, shaking his head. His hands released her sore wrists, but he still lingered between her.

“I’ve always told you, you’re different, the kind of different I should be smart enough to stay away from and I've tried, but your father put me here, so here I am to look after you, while resisting your allure… I take my job seriously Hana Awakusu, so you’d be better off finding a teenage boy to explore these feelings with. Then I might have the willpower to stop wanting to touch you.”

His words sent Hana’s heart into a frenzy. Her breathing was shallow, her mind whirling from his words. She was afraid to believe them, but they swam over every inch of her being filling her with a need she could not ignore.

The stared at each other a moment longer, before he broke away and opened the passenger side door, holding it open while he waited for her. He politely looked away as she fixed her skirt and jumped off the hood. She obeyed his silent command, seating herself in the passenger seat, disappoint emanating from her dissatisfied flesh.

He shut the door and climbed into the driver's side.

* * *

 

 Silently they drove through the active night life of Ikebukuro. Color gangs wondering, couples canoodling, kids refusing to go home. Hana's city was always alive with something,

_something that felt so distant to her, something she would do anything to be a part of._

The car stopped in front of her home before she realized. Akabayashi opening her door and guiding her up the stairs. He unlocked the entry to her prison and entered to make his routine checks.

The changing night air blew one last time onto her face before Hana shut the door. Her desire for control was ready to be set loose. She refused to care any longer.

In the open entry way, she unbuttoned her shirt and dropped it on the floor. Heading towards her wash room she left her skirt laying on the hallway floor. Her apartment was small, Akabayashi only a room away from the shower.

He had no qualms toying with her, she would repay the favor.

The washroom door stood open as she unsnapped her bra. Her full breasts bounced slightly as she slipped it off. It was a glorious kind of freedom as they sank into their desired location, cool air wafting over her nipples, making them rigid.

She massaged them gently, noticing a shadow move into her peripheral vision. Hana knew he was watching her, she was even glad he did, but she dared not look. She pretended not to notice, continuing to massage the soreness out from them. Slowly she dropped her underwear and turned her back to him, stepping into the shower.

The shower head blasted her with warm water, fogging her clear door. She was uncertain how long he stayed but she continued on as though alone. Desperate hands moved across her body, releasing her tension and working with the hot water to relieve her stress.

Unable to wait a moment longer, her fingers found their way to her clitoris. So much need had built up, she knew it wouldn't take much.  
Forehead against the wall to escape the water, she began rubbing.

_Thoughts of him watching her peeked her arousal. Could the man hear her moan, did he wish he was a part of it?_

As she suspected her climax erupted with ease, sending her into a convulsion of moans. The orgasm was strong, pulsing for several seconds before coming back down. She turned off the shower and swung the door open. The steam pouring into the hallway.  
She saw his cane as he retreated from the hallway. The front door slammed shut and his key scratched the metal as he locked it. Hana dried off, moving towards her bedroom window.

He was in his car, fumbling desperately with the key to start it.. the engine roared to life and his tires screeched as he sped away....


	2. While you fall asleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUTTTTTTTTTTTT incoming...beware.
> 
> To make a deal with an Insurance Broker, does Hana really know what she wants?  
> Izaya seems to know her dirty desires better than she does and is prepared to make them a reality.
> 
> Both people have something to offer the other, but something more than that seems to bloom between the two.  
> But playing with fire comes with a price, especially when Awakusu betrayals are paid in blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut furthers plot, riight? >:) WHAT WILL THE DEMON SAY??

As expected, the red demon was nowhere to be found when Saturday morning dawned. Hana felt oddly satisfied with herself, sending the man into moral turmoil. Her morning jog went longer than she anticipated. The small mart on the corner lured her in for a drink before she decided to head home. She tossed her empty milk carton when a familiar head of blonde hair rolled around the corner.

“Hana you babe” he yelled, running over to run his fingers across her bare abs.  
She pushed him away, mostly because it tickled.

An unfamiliar dark head of hair appeared next to Masaomi.

“This is my pal, Mikado Ryugamine.” Masaomi said, introducing her.  
“Hana Awakusu.” she said with a smile.

He blushed, uncertain where to look.

“I just moved to Ikebukuro, it just amazes me how Masaomi knows everyone.” Mikado gushed.  
“Yeah, he’s a busy body, that one.” she laughed.  
“Excuse me, I prefer social butterfly. “ Masaomi interjected.  
“So, do you attend Raira as well?” Mikado asked, his nerves easing.  
“You should know Hana isn’t dating material, she beats up all the boys.” Masaomi answered, hitting his shoulder.

Mikado turned bright red as his friend laughed. Hana gave her best death stare to the blonde haired troublemaker.

“Masaomi has an inferiority complex because he lost an arm wrestling match to me.”  
“Heey! You’re forgetting all the details.” Masaomi retorted.  
“I’m pretty sure the only detail that matters is you lost.” Mikado added.

Masaomi turned on Mikado like the traitor he was, causing Mikado to laugh in response. Hana noted what a sweet looking guy he appeared to be. Albeit very different than Masaomi. He gave off the air of someone who never knew the world had so much to offer. It resonated inside of Hana. The look in his eyes, the same thing that was buried deep in herself.

_The desire to be a part of everything that Ikebukuro was, crime and all._

“Well aren’t you the cutest things around. Enjoying the innocence of childhood delinquency together, and it seems you’ve suckered another one into your fold.” familiar tones mocked.

Izaya Orihara watched them from the entrance of the shop, his usual smirk in place. Masaomi stiffened, his casual features darkening into the street fighter he was.

“What do you want fleabag?” he shot at Izaya.  
“That hurts my Kida-kun, aren’t we friends? What would Saki say?” Izaya sneered.  
Mikado looked between them, his face lined with concern. Hana exhaled, not having the energy to deal with the situation.

“It’s not worth your energy.” she said, resting a hand on Masaomi’s shoulder.  
“Come on Mikado, this is a part of the city you want nothing to do with.” he replied, nodding bye to Hana.

Mikado gave a nervous smile, “Nice to meet you, hope to see you at school.”

Hana couldn’t help but smile back, Waving as she jogged away. The Broker remained close behind. Determinedly she ignored him, heading in the direction she came from. He easily overtook her and blocked her path.

“Did you forget our date?” he asked, cocking his head slightly.

She rolled her eyes, “Thought this was a slumber party, I forgot my change of clothes.”  
“You can wear mine. I’d pay a lot of money to see that dog’s face if you went home tomorrow morning in my jacket.” he laughed,  
“Males and your need to pee on everything you see.” she said, throwing her hand out in front of her as though to say, “lead the way.”

He nodded his head, sauntering off in his desired direction. Hana followed behind him silently. He glanced back at her from time to time, humming an annoying tune as they went. They traveled on the most roundabout way possible. Hana realized the man was clearly used to being followed.

“Did you do as I asked?” Hana finally said.

Izaya stopped mid tune, “Mmm, the hooker last night kept him occupied well into the morning. Whatever you did to send him running, made my job much easier.” he replied casually.

His words pierced Hana’s ego. After all the bullshit, Akabayashi had run off to a hooker. The idea of him letting another women receive his passion both aroused Hana and infuriated her. She couldn’t stop herself from imagining the man driving away. Picking any hooker, just to pound her doggy style in the back seat she often rode in. She wondered how often she had caused him to find gratification,

_had he imagined her?_

Izaya had stopped without Hana realizing until she ran head long into him. He peered down at her with a smug look.

“Interested in the details? Or is that fragile female heart of yours broken?”

Hana blushed, Izaya could read her better than she anticipated.

“Don’t be stupid.”  
“It’s not weird, if that’s what you’re thinking. I make a lot of money off the voyeurs in this city.” he said, clicking his tongue,  
“Is that why you invited me here? To watch porno’s with you?” she replied smoothly, moving away from the infuriating man.

He chuckled softly, “Teenage turmoil can be such a misunderstood stage, I’m simply here to offer you an avenue to make it useful.”  
“I can’t decide if I think you’re offering me a job or if we’re still talking about sex.”  
“Why differentiate between the two?”

They were moving again, Izaya overtaking Hana to push open the door of the nearest apartment building. Bowing his head he held it, as though he were a gentleman and not the pevry Information Broker, “Ladies first.”

She walked in, hoping it wasn’t the worst decision of her life.

_Meddling in affairs with the Information Broker could bring severe punishment from the Awakusu. She needed to tread carefully._

At the same time, she wanted to be a stupid teenager for one moment in her life. Fall in love with the stupid druggie, stay up late, get high on Izaya’s couch. It all sounded like typical teenage behaviour, but Hana would never be a normal teenager.

The reality was she was seating herself on the couch of the most dangerous guy in Ikebukuro, while joking about sexual relations, as though they would never happen.

It would be no surprise if he pawned off her virginity to the highest bidder, but the whole situation excited her in some weird way. Izaya set a beverage on the table in front of her and then plopped down beside her. Hana had placed herself on the far side of the couch unwittingly trapping herself against the armrest. Izaya positioned himself quite close, folding his leg casually.

_Hana measured him up, he was a skinny guy. If she needed to, she could take him, that was, if he wasn’t a skilled fighter, such luck was asking too much._

“So, am I supposed to tell my father I was just playing Monopoly with Izaya Orihara?”  
“Strip poker is probably a bit more believable.”

She laughed, thinking about her father's reaction. It was everything he dreaded.

“You’re not a very good friend Izaya, you need to have my back.”  
“I didn’t realize you were in the market for friends, seeing as you have quite the clique of high profile people.” he mused into his cup.  
“Do I even want to know what you know?”

He smirked sideways at her.

“No, but I want to know what you will soon know.”  
“There it is, he wants something and here I thought you enjoyed my company.” she replied darkly.  
“I love all humans, Awakusu included. But work has to be done and I find your services to be more interesting than some of the other brainless teenagers on my list.”  
“Is that because you can irritate my overload at the same time?”  
“See, we understand each other.”  
“What I don’t see, is what I get out of this.”  
“Well, there’s me.” he winked.  
“Can’t say that sells me, but thanks for the tea.” she said, standing to make her exit.

He caught her hand, pulling her back onto the couch. His movements were graceful as he positioned himself on top of her, one hand restraining her own and the other touching her cheek.

The man was like a korean drama cliche, knowing exactly how to make Hana swoon. Moving slowly enough towards her lips to drive her mad with arousal.

“That pent of frustration deserves an outlet. Your dog found his, isn’t it only fair.” he whispered.

Hana’s body responded against her mind’s will. She knew her flirting had been unwise, Izaya knew his upper hand and played it perfectly. It wasn’t a predicament she had wanted to be in, but with the man looming closer, she found herself throwing caution to the wind.

Imagining Akabayashi with the other woman pushed her into reckless abadonment, but still she resisted. Her experience was nil, giving herself up to the worst man in the city seemed like the worst way to let it go.

Taunting fingers trailed downwards, brown eyes calculating how far they could go. Glided slowly over her bare abdomen, stopping just at her pants line, pushing a finger under them to torture her further. She let out a moan, her body making the decisions for her.

_His musky smell clouded her thinking, as his lips landed on hers. She wanted to be consumed by Ikebukoro’s underbelly._

His own arousal pressed firmly against her thigh while he worked his fingers expertly in tantalizing circles, slowly working themselves further down her pubic bone.

Hana’s untamed passion exploded, her hands reaching greedily for the head of back hair above her. Her lips had never felt anything so glorious.

How ironic that her first kiss would be with Izaya Orihara as he pushed himself further towards her sweet spot. Akabayashi’s and her father’s worst nightmare, come true.

It was a bargain, not exactly the Romeo and Juliet setting she had imagined for herself, but her pleasure was nonetheless the same. Different was how she always had been, her dirty mind was no exception.  
She liked the way Izaya touched her, and it aroused her even more that the man was simply using her for his own ends.

_In exchange he offered her the control and release she so desperately needed._

He pulled away, his lip bleeding slightly from her eagerness, “Where’s that High School bashfulness.” he mocked.  
“You made me an offer, now I’m taking what I want.”  
“This isn’t what you want, I know what you want.” he whispered, before lifting her from the couch.

He walked across the apartment, opening a door in the corner. Roughly she was tossed onto a bed, the room dark and the door swinging shut and the lock clicking behind Izaya.

Without a moment’s hesitation he was back on top of her moving purposefully to pushing her arms over her head. Nimble fingers tied her wrists to the frame before reaching over her to pull a blindfold from the bedside drawer.

“How many times have you done this before?” she accused, as he plunged her into darkness.  
“It’s bad business not to be prepared to pay.” he answered, his lips moving to her abdomen.

Hana gasped, staring into darkness. Her hips bucked as he teased her, his tongue roaming the expanse of her exposed flesh.Unapologetically he peeled her sports bra away, allowing her breasts to fall out, her nipples hard and needy for attention.  
He obliged them, pinching them roughly. She yelped, which only caused him to pinch the other one harder.

“Her breasts were nowhere near as glorious as yours, that’s why he flipped her over, face into the seat.” he said, taking her nipple into his mouth.

Her clitoris pulsed with arousal. Izaya knew what she wanted. She wanted to know how Akabayashi had gotten off,

i _t brought her orgasm close to the brink, imagining him in his car, buried deep inside another._

“He didn’t wait, he pushed her dress up, pulling her panties aside and shoved himself brutally inside of her. They were parked under a street lamp, uncaring who saw them. She cried out a few times but the pleasure was all his.” he continued, releasing her nipple and trailing to her pants.

They slid easily off her bony hips, leaving her completely exposed, her clitoris begging him to notice it. Not knowing where he was made it even more mind blowing when his hot mouth swallowed her up. Her clitoris nudged gently by his tongue. He swirled a few times, before pulling away.

“Please Izaya.” she gasped, her hips trying desperately to follow him.  
“Don’t you want to know how he finished.” he answered, moving his hands to rub her impatient clit.  
“Tell me how he fucked her, was he bareback.” she moaned.  
“He chose the only blonde, his hands wrapped in her hair, as he bucked frantically. He was so overcome with pleasure, the moaning rising from his open window. It didn’t take very long before he cried out, filling her with his semen, I could it drip from his head when he pulled out.”

Hana could see it as clearly as if she were there, his face when he came, the release of all his need,

_exploding inside of another, the satisfied smirk of hers, bringing him so easily to orgasm._

Izaya returned his blissful mouth to her clitoris, working her as she imagined each moment of Akabayashi’s pleasure until he finally he came and Izaya’s tongue forced her to her own peak.

She thought she would cry out, Akabayash,i as she climaxed, feeling at one with the infuriating man. Instead, her arms pulled against her binds, and her hips pushed into his face, begging him to stay where he was.

She pulsed, the pleasure continuing to rise, her body stiffening, the words;

 **“Ooh Izaya.** ”  
falling naturally from her lips. Her body fell limply to the pillow after one last shudder.

In the darkness, she heard his zipper slide down, his hand thumping hard against his member. She couldn’t see him, but she heard him panting, he didn’t even touch her, instead he just worked himself for a couple minutes, before letting out his gasp and spilling his seed all over her breasts.

She felt his penis on her nipple, him wielding it like a pen, coating her in his cum. He continued this until he fell limp. His hands untied her binds and she pulled the blindfold from her face. She looked down at her cum covered breasts, their round heavy round cleavage bulging under the pressure of her bra. Her naked lower half, unashamed as Izaya sat next to her, buttoning himself up.

He left the room for a moment, returning a few seconds later with a towel. She reached for it but he ignored her.  
Slowly, he wiped her clean, his other hand wandering over her breasts as though to ensure their cleanness. He gave her nipple a final pinch, before pulling her bra down. Then, uncharacteristically he plopped down next to her, staring at the ceiling.

“Is this the part where we spoon.” she said sarcastically.

He laughed quietly next to her. Hana grabbed her pants and pulled them up, before rolling up next to the Insurance Broker.He rolled over to bury his face into her cleavage, a small sigh falling from his lips. Neither said anything, their breathing mimicking the other.  
Hana smelled his hair, as his breathing became rhythmic, causing her to laugh. She never imagined that the Broker actually slept. Yet his form was so peaceful, his face using her bulging cleavage as pillows like the pervert he was.

It was uncharacteristically tender, and confused Hana greatly. She decided to just accept the moment. There was no need for sarcasm or teasing, it was just a place for them to release something far from prying eyes.

_Calculating and manipulation would come after the nap._


	3. I need a little more time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akabayashi has no patience for a smart mouth.   
> Gonna feel the pain when you get on his bad side, teenage girl or not, Hana will learn.
> 
> Tension is still growing though!

Night had fallen by the time Hana roused herself from sleep.Izaya stirred next to her, his hands moving to squeeze her breasts.

“Mmmm”  
“I think I need to leave before my over Lord realizes I’m missing.”

She sat up, pushing Izaya's hand away to his disappointment. He followed behind her as she rushed out. His hand rested on the front door, shutting it before she could escape.He twisted her around to face him. Eyes narrowed, peering down at her hungrily.

“Yes?”

He didn't reply, instead he dove onto her neck, his mouth clinging to it, sucking forcefully.

“Heeey! No! You idiot.” she yelled

Unphased by her writhing he kept sucking until he was satisfied with his work.  
He pulled away to smirk at her, then bid her farewell before walking back to the bedroom.  
  


* * *

 

 The cold night air did not make for a nice walk home. She no longer had the energy to jog home and wasn't looking forward to the hour long walk instead. However, she always did enjoy the Ikebukuro night life. People watching was her favorite pass time.  
She decided to walk down the middle of the city and laugh at the drunken meandering.

The city tough guy, Shizuo Heiwajima, made his way into her path. She had crossed his path a couple of times while on runs with the guys. The vast majority hated working with the blonde hot head, but Hana always liked him.

“What’re you looking to get raped?” he said unapologetically, looking her up and down.  
His blue shades almost as absurd as his butlers attire.  
“Why, you offering?” she retorted with an eye roll.  
“Heh, pedophilia isn't my thing. “  
“Neither are manners.”

He shrugged his shoulders, a sigh falling from his lips.

“I find it hard to believe Akabayashi just let you roam the streets like this.”  
“I didn't ask.”  
“Bit of teenage rebellion, eh?”

Her eyes narrowed, unamused by his jab.

“Come on kid, I'll walk you home, god knows I'd never hear the end of it from the Awakusu if something did happen you.”

Hana did not object, her feet moving furiously to keep up with the blonde giant. The streets of Ikebukuro were loud, drunk people laughing with their friends. Shizuo was oblivious to the ruckus but Hana was enthralled.

They wound through the the middle of the city veering into gang territory. It was a place Hana would never venture alone, always taking the extra 30 minutes around instead. Shizuo could careless, he was the strongest man in the city, no one dared pick a fight with him.

To Hana’s dread, a familiar form, leaning on his cane, stood just ahead of them.

“Aye Akabayashi, I've got something that belongs to you.” Shizuo barked.

Akabayashi turned to face them, glasses flashing in the street light. Hana made to run away but Shizuo's strong hand pushed her into her guard. He caught her with ease, not looking away from Shizuo.

“Why’d you bring her here?”  
“I'm not wandering the city with a half naked girl with a giant hickey on her neck.” Someone is going to accuse me of being a pedo. You deal with the teenage drama.” he replied, before sauntering off.

Hana was caught in Akabayashi’s grasp. Her face pressed into his firm chest while his hands gripped her shoulders. Hoping for mercy she tentatively pulled away from his torso, but he made it abundantly clear he had no intention of letting her go.

 He stiffened as the steps of Shizuo, the traitor, faded away. He was purposefully silent, his arms holding her with a bruising grasp. They shook slightly as though he were trying to convince himself not to hurt her in his rage.

_How was Hana supposed to explain this one._

“Will you let me go?” she whispered into his shirt.  
“No.” he replied in an even tone.  
“I want you to let me go.”  
“And I want to hurt you right now, but neither of us are getting what we want.”  
“Don’t be so dramatic, what do you have to be angry about?“ she fumed.  
“Don't-”  
“No, you don't! I took a jog and I saw some friends and yeah even got a hickey! The most normal experience I've had in my entire life.How can you punish me for this when you told me to look elsewhere!”

He sighed, releasing her arms to rub his temples.

“Who was it.” he asked quietly.

Hana froze. Coming up with a quick lie was impossible. His eyes could read her better than anyone else. In her stupidity she drew a blank.

“Why does it matter?” she said, her voice overly defiant.  
“Hana, I asked you who it was.” he said, staring down at her, his voice a dangerous whisper.

 Hana knew she should heed the warning in his voice, but she found herself still angry at the man. He had called the shots too long and Hana had reached her bursting point.

“I’m not telling you, I’m allowed some privacy.” she said through gritted teeth.  
“God dammit Hana answer the fucking question” he yelled, his composure breaking.

Hana stumbled away, frightened by his outburst, “A hooker.” she jabbed, still refusing to comply to his demands

_She regretted her decision immediately._

He his hands moved like lightning, reaching out to hurt her. Hana turned heel to run but he caught her ankle with his cane. Face first into the cement, she scrambled but his foot collided with her side. She yelled out in pain as something in her ribcage snapped under the force. The pain was blinding but her flee reflex overrode its presence.

It was futile but Hana still tried to scramble away to freedom. A foot stomping down hard on her hand stopped her in her tracks, his hand finding a hold in her hair. In his fury he yanked her across the cement, shredding the skin on her bare torso.

Stopping at the car door, he yanked it open and lifted Hana by her hair, tossing her violently into the seat before slamming the door closed.

 Headlights flashed into the window as she panted, her heart racing a million miles an hour. Voices joined Akabayashi’s, whose rose in uncharacteristic anger. Hana sat up to peer out.

Men from the Awakusu stood near Akabayashi, then another group of guys wearing the symbol of their color gang showed up. They argued until Akabayashi took hold of one man.

_Hana watched what she had been saved from._

He had struggled against himself not to hurt her. All the restraint being let loose on the idiot who had the misfortune of crossing his path today. It was horrifying, but Hana refused to look away.

The way his angry hands moved. The ruthless smile and the absence of mercy as the man begged as many do once they realize what is being commited to.

 When Akabayashi was finished, the color gang took what remained of their friend and departed. Akabayashi casually wiping his hands clean. He exchanged a few more words with his men before heading back to the car.  
Hana moved to the other side of the seat, back flat against it, her heart pounding.  
She looked down at her bleeding torso and torn leggings. Her ribs turning dark purple where he had kicked her. In her fear she hadn't noticed how much it all hurt. Moving made her realize her ribs were likely cracked.

The drivers side door opened, a soft thump following him as he sat. He laid his cane on the passenger seat before finally looking up to peer at her through the rear view mirror.  
Hana was too afraid to look away, she waited, knowing her fear was written all over her body language.

_An entire life of training wasted;_   
_how to keep a poker face, don't give away anything._

She finally understood why the man was so good at his job. He knew it too, all this time he had been kind, letting her off easy, but the reality was, she was another job and he would get the information he needed one way or another.

He released her eyes, starting the engine and driving away. Everything passed too quickly, Hana’s dread to reach home growing with each passing street lamp. They arrived, the house dark in front of her. The car doors unable to be opened from the inside, she waited.

He held the door silently and she crawled out of it, clutching her ribs. She collapsed in pain when she tried to stand but he caught her. Somehow they managed to make it up the stairs without her crying. He tossed her, somewhat unkindly onto her bed exiting the room to return with the first aid kit.

Obediently she laid flat on her back, breathing heavily, while he worked on cleaning her scrapes.A few of them had rocks wedged into them that he had to extract.  
It was painful, but not so much as a whimper left her lips. It was time to work on her ribs, he pushed on the bruised area, feeling for breaks.

She screamed, pushing against his cruel hands.He smirked down at her and jabbed her again.Hot tears welled in her eyes as she accepted her punishment.

“I’m not an unreasonable man, but I have one rule Hana, when I ask you something you will answer me straight. “ he said, wrapping her torso with an ace bandage.

Unable to speak, she gritted her teeth and nodded.

“That **blue square** didn't want to give me a straight answer either. So I hope you appreciate how I let you off easy this time.” he continued, sitting back in his chair to watch her.

She stared at the ceiling, realizing for the magnitude of fucked up her life was. Her father had treated her differently up until now, given her leniency. Akabayashi had told her she was a job, why had it not resonated with her before? Leaving or disobeying the Awakusu came with a steep price, she was not an exception. She had never been a real daughter and never would be.

_She understood now, just how much Akabayashi had tried to protect her._

“I’m glad you understand. So I will ask you again, who were you with?”

Silence echoed in the room. She knew saying his name would bring the return of his demons face, but there was no escaping.

“Izaya Orihara.” she whispered.

She knew it was the last name he expected to hear and would send him into a fury It didn’t stop it from startling her when he stood, lobbing the lucky cat who sat on her bed side table through the window. Fear outweighed her pain and instinctively she rolled across the bed dashing for the bathroom door.

He was hot behind her, his wrathful hands ready to punish her. Mercifully, she was faster, bolting the door just has his shoulder rammed into it.

“Open the door.” he said in a quiet rage.  
“No.” she gasped between tears.

His foot collided with the door, but would not prevail against it. It had been designed as a safe room and she was confident he would find no way in.

“I won't hurt you.”  
“If that's true then leave and come back tomorrow and I’ll do as you ask.”

He screamed in rage, smashing things as he went but he didn't knock again. She listened to glass breaking and furniture cracking, then finally the front door slamming shut and locking

Hana sat, crying pathetic tears. She hurt in more ways than she cared to acknowledge.  
She didn't bother to leave her safe room. Her ribs throbbing too painfully to allow her movement. Instead she slumped against the cold wall and slept.  
  


* * *

 

 He knocked, his voice normal. “Open up, I brought Shinra to take a look at your ribs.”

It startled her from her slumber. Her face was covered in sweat even though she was shivering from the cold at the same time. The pain was unbearable. Hana reached for the toilet, crying out when she stretched her torso. Pushing off the lid she somehow managed to reach the latch. The door swung open to reveal Shinra.

Hana hunched over the sink, unable to hold back her vomit a moment longer. She retched and screamed, every forceful spasm of her diaphragm sending her into spiraling waves of pain. Shinra rushed over to pull her hair out of her face, Akabayashi watching from the doorway.

Cool hands brushed her forehead, soothing her enough to get the convulsions to stop. “Get her onto the bed.” Shinra commanded.

Akabayashi obeyed, taking her gently into his arms. She winced involuntarily when he reached for her, causing him to frown. He placed himself close by after setting her down, Shinra moving in to exam her.

“I need to cut this off.” he said kindly, waiting for her consent.

_Exposing her breasts to the two older men was the least of her worries._

“Don’t look at me, I'm not going anywhere.” Akabayashi growled.

Her sports bra burst free, letting her sore breasts fall into freedom. Silence filled the room Shinra feeling her ribs. His hands had the unique ability to search without hurting her, unlike the rough ones that belonged to Akabayashi. Several minutes later he administered pain relief, an antibiotic and wrapped her up, awkwardly avoiding her cleavage.

Akabayashi watched the Dr. with untrusting eyes. His red glasses glinting in the light, when Hana finally looked over at the mobster. He made eye contact, his face hiding his feelings, his eyes twitching, trying not to gaze at her heavy chest.

She laughed, drugs reaching her head. “You want to look?" “He wants to look” she whispered to Shinra, before bursting into a fit of giggles.  
“I cannot blame the man.” Shinra replied.

Akabayashi kicked him in the calf, causing him to squeal.

“I only have eyes for celty! Don't blame me for your taste of pedophilia!” he retorted.  
“Who's celty?” Hana hiccuped, tasting cherry.  
“The headless rider and my one true love.” he replied matter-o-factly.  
“CAN I MEET HER” she yelled, sitting up, boobs bouncing as she went.

Shinra blushed, Hana inches from his face.

“Celty would love that.” he replied pushing her back down to continue cleaning her wound.

Akabayashi tapped his foot in annoyance. His eyes never leaving Hana.  
Her world was spinning blissfully as She stared right back.

“What do you have to be annoyed about, you beat me up and I'm the one who slept on the bathroom floor. You probably enjoyed the evening with your hooker.” she spluttered, Shinra trying to hold her still without comment.  
“Didn't Izaya leave you satisfied?”  
“I can't say it was worth this.”  
“Did he tell you **he** did this?” she asked Shinra in a whisper.  
“Oh looky, you’re all cleaned, I’m gonna go, you get your rest, I'll bring Celty the next time I come.” Shinra answered awkwardly before leaving.  
Hana stared at the ceiling, humming cheerfully.

“Let's get a shirt on you.” Akabayashi said, picking one from the floor.

“I’m fine the way I am.” she said, pinching her nipple defiantly.

He moved to push it over her head, but she rolled away.

"Oh come on Akabayashi, even Izaya had a good time looking” she mocked.

_Hana quite enjoyed watching his subdued anger struggle at the surface._

“Are you upset? You knew you were my first choice, so I don't see how you can be.”  
“Hana, this isn't the time for this…”  
“Do you want to know how he did it? The way he tied me to the bed, telling me about your hooker” she continued, ignoring him.

Suddenly his body was on top of hers, twisting her back around to face him. Her arms over her head, red eyes glaring down at her.

“I told you why.” he whispered.  
“And I didn't care.” she whispered back.  
“Did he put it inside of you.”  
“No, he rubbed me off and then jerked himself off.” she answered bluntly.

His head fell onto her chest, jealousy consuming him. Nipples hard with need, she turned her chest towards his mouth.

“If you do that you might regret it.” he said trying to move away from her breasts.  
“You owe me a little fun after all this pain” she answered, bucking her hips.

His lips gave in, diving onto her nipple and sucking hard. She moaned out loud, her hands slipping free from his grasp. Her fingers wrapped into his hair, tugging unkindly.

To her great disappointment he pulled away.

“I need to stop.”  
“I don't want you to.”  
“You're on drugs.”  
“You ran away when I wasn't.”  
“Please Hana.”  
“No.” she said, her hands roaming to his trousers, massaging the erection hidden beneath.

His moan followed as she rolled on top of him

“He didn't do it, but i want you to.” she whispered into his ear.

His moaning was conflicted, he didn't know how to make himself stop.  
Her hands were venturing beneath the barrier of his pants when we finally found his will power. Rolling away with ease, Hana found herself on her on her back.

The Red demon standing over her tucking her tightly into a blanket.

“Get some rest.” He said, straightening himself out.

He stopped at the door, turning back to gaze at her a moment.

“I'm sorry,” he muttered before exiting.


	4. Underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one gets to leave the Awakusu, but if you're gonna try you better watch out for that information broker....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated and added to this chapter, steering the story in a little bit of a different direction!

In Hana’s irritated opinion, broken ribs were the worst things ever. Life had became a giant hassle when she wasn’t doped up on pain meds.

_Pain meds Akabayashi took away far too soon._

According to the man;  
“she got way too high on them”

Hana didn’t really know what he meant seeing as she never remembered a thing that happened after they kicked in. For whatever reason he refused to budge on his stance, which made her wonder what horrific thing she had done. He offered no explanation and she didn't have the courage to ask. By Sunday she was hobbling around without help, but was forbidden from going back to school on Monday.

“My education isn't suffering because of this.”  
“That's the price of your actions. “  
“My actions, try yours!” she said incredulously.  
“Don’t try your bullshit on me, you know how this works. You will keep the Awakusu name blameless.” he growled.  
“Hah, more like you want to keep **you** blameless.”

His retribution was swift. Her back shoved against the the refrigerator, the door jamming uncomfortably into her spine. Nice guy Akabayashi had a harder time keeping his facade after their incident. He was not in the mood to tolerate her inability to comply with anything he wanted.

He was on her, claw like hands pincering her ribcage. Through red glasses, he peered down at her, eyes full of his warning. It was a stupid fight for her to pick. She knew he was still unhappy with her. For whatever reason she found herself annoyingly addicted to irritating the man into retaliation. It satisfied her need to be close to him.

“You’re a bit of a sadist. “ she choked between tears.

His face twisted, forming a lopsided grin.

“And you’re a masochist, so we’re a perfect match.“

_The man spoke a form of truth. Hana was addicted to his hands on her, particularly when they hurt her._

She had been picking fights with him, subconsciously seeking the gratification from his strong body crushing her own. She figured her twisted desires were a product of growing up in a gang, but it didn't make it any easier to have them. Akabayashi gave another squeeze, finally receiving the satisfaction of her cry.

“Now, tomorrow you will stay home.“ he commanded, expecting her to finally give in.

The strong hands clung to her bruise, demanding a reply. Pain throbbed from the spot. Hana really hated relinquishing control, her jaw remaining set against his threats. His moved upwards, questioning her defiance, “You sure about your choice?”

She gritted her teeth in response, mentally battling her pain, determined to call his bluff. He laughed, moving his hand to run it through his red hair.

“Have it your way kid. Torturing isn’t really my thing, but if you insist on not listening.”

His hand left his hair and gripped her wrist. Roughly, he tugged her across the room, his right hand moving the boiling pot of water from the burner and tossing it into the sink.

_The burner glowed red, heat emanating from the coils._

Cold dread filled her lungs, and she yanked frantically against his hold.

“Whats wrong, you want to listen now?” he said, his voice becoming maniacal.  
“I’m sorry!” she yelled, pulling desperately.

His hand empty of the pot, he was able to force her body infront of him, the other hand forcing the palm of her hand downward towards the hot burner.

“Please! I won't do it ever again, Akabayashi, please!”

Her entire body pushed against his unbudging frame. It was cement behind her. It required no effort on his part to keep her there and force her hand downwards. Being a girl was the most annoying disadvantage Hana had ever encountered, not that her ribcage would allow her to fight the cruel man

_“Why do you insist on making me the man I don’t want to be, I have been very reasonable with you Hana.” he growled in her ear._

With a forceful shove her hand was squished onto the red coils. Her skin sizzled grossly and her scream got lodged in her throat. His breathing was loud in her ear it’s rhythm matching the agony pulsing through her hand. The burner clicked off and he tugged her hand off the burner, pulling her to the kitchen sink and running lukewarm water over her mutilated hand.

He held her hand under the stream, gradually making it cooler, ignoring her screams of protest. She didn’t want anything to touch it and was certain if he wasn’t holding her in place she’d retreat to her bedroom to let it die.

She sobbed hopelessly, looking at the molten flesh. Her left hand had finally started mending since being brutalized by Akabayashi’s merciless foot. Her right hand would not be so lucky. Hana wondered if it would ever be the same again, or if she would forever sport the scar of being born an Awakusu.

He led her trembling body to the kitchen table and left to rummage in the cupboards, returning with a jar of honey. He slathered it over her shaking member. Hana watched him fearfully, wanting to run far away from the man.

Almost tenderly he wrapped it as though mummifying it. He removed his glasses and looked at her. She’d have jumped away if his hand wasn’t holding hers captive.

“Does my eye scare you?” he grinned.

 

* * *

 

Hana looked down, heart racing in her chest. Their interactions always threw her for a loop. They were so up and down she could never keep up, not even with her own heart. On one hand she saw the man she had grown up with.

It reminded her of the time he had taught her to ride a bike. The memory intruded on Hana’s thoughts. The Green field as vibrant as it was on the day she was seven. Akabayashi never changed much. His red hair remained the same and his suits, though changed in style always fit the strong body in the same way.

She often forgot he was a man of his 30’s, though she’d never guess so looking at him. He was old enough to be her dad and thinking back to growing up, he often took the place of her own Father. The man tried to be there for her, but Hana’s step mother refused to let there be anything but the bare minimum.

Akabayashi never seemed to mind stepping in to teach her. She had spent an entire day trying and failing to ride her new two wheeled bike. It was just slightly too tall for her to reach the ground while on the seat. It resulted in much falling and bleeding of her elbows and knees.

The Red haired man watched her from the distance, yelling out to her; “You’ll never get anywhere with that attitude.” “Start pedaling sooner.” and, “What’d you expect.”

Juvenile Hana finally lost her cool and burst into tears, kicking the bike with her foot and bruising her toes. She remembered how angry she had been, feeling as though she’d never want to ride the stupid thing again.

Then he was there, squatting before her and ruffing her blonde hair. She turned her nose away from him, embarrassed of her tears.

“I was once taught a valuable lesson.” he said, turning her cheek to face him.  
“I don’t want a lesson from you.” she replied angrily.  
“You’re going to get one anyways. All good things come from never giving up. Work hard enough and you’ll achieve what you want.”

Hana’s red face burned and she stomped her feet, “I WAS…”

Holding back laughter he silenced her with a finger to her lips, “but recognizing when to ask for help is something I had to learn the hard way and much later in my life than I would have liked.” he said standing up and picking her bike up with him.

Until sunset the man had left his cane on the ground and ran alongside Hana, helping her to keep her balance until she finally zoomed away having found her balance. In her victory she yelled in triumph turning back to look at her teacher. In the moment she looked away, she unfortunately ran headlong into Shizuo Heiwajima  
and had to be rescued from his retribution by Akabayashi.

They walked home, Hana’s crying form on his shoulders and Akabayashi pushing the bike home for her.

It was just a far away image, like a life Hana had only dreamed. Even though her life had never been considered normal, she had always cherished it. It was hers, as peculiar as it was, in her heart Hana never wanted it any other way.

She just didn’t understand when it had changed, when the Red haired man had stopped kissing her scratches and started giving them. What lesson was she missing in all of it and why could he not make it as clear as he had when she was a child.

She wanted the agony and fighting to end, wished she could stop the changing feelings she had for the man.

 

* * *

 

“It’s what hides behind the eye that scares me.” she whispered.

The hard hand on hers swallowed her up in its warmth. The feeling she remembered, of his kindness, one of the many little things that had brought her to the place of no return,

_falling in love with a mobster._

It was such an annoying cliche, but what had been expected? A normal person was never going to notice her or want anything to do with the Awakusu name. Hana didn’t hold it against them, being afraid of being skinned alive if they wronged her didn’t sound appealing to her either.

Neither her nor Akabayashi seemed to know why their relationship had reached such an impasse, but going forward would be impossible, Hana knew it.

“I made the mistake once before, of falling in love. She left me with this.” he said pointing to the eye with a reminiscent smile.

Hana gaped at him, waiting for his explanation.

“I killed her husband, I used to look in on your and her daughter, you might know the girl, Anri Sonohara.”

Hana remembered Anri telling her of her acquaintance to Akabayashi but she had never inquired further. She nodded, “She sits behind me.”

“Why am I not surprised.” he sighed, shaking his head.  
“How...why…?” Hana trailed off, not sure what the appropriate response was.  
“Not all things in Ikebukuro can be explained Hana, the supernatural is drawn to this place. Mrs Sonohara was possessed by such a thing, and I realized too late, blinded by my love for her.”

His eyes were distant, remembering something that sounded terrible, but brought the lightest glimmer of happiness to his face.

“Did you…?”

Hana looked at the ground, afraid to ask what she was thinking.

“No, another bastard betrayed me and left Anri an orphan, but I’ll never not feel responsible for Anri and will care for her as long as she needs.”

She watched the man as he continued to hold her hand tenderly, she was uncertain what he was trying to get at, too afraid to hope.

“Hana, the problem is, I’ll never regret it and this scar fills that loneliness, but I lost a lot because of love. I was reckless and I cannot let that happen again.”

His tone had turned, a stern rejection of the feelings he knew she held for him. Hana had expected it, in some way or form, it was going to happen. It was the reality of it that drove her towards Izaya. Even though it was the worst plan ever, Izaya reciprocated her need. In the Brokers own way, he desired her as well.

It’s all Hana wanted, for someone to want her back. She was a teenager through and through, she knew it, Akabayashi knew it. He’d already experienced what Hana felt and come to the end of it. His heart wasn’t willing to do it again.

Still, the rejection hurt more than Hana cared to admit. Instinctively, she shut off the throbbing in her heart, the walls she was born in, flinging up around her. Her change was apparent to him, her hand prying itself from his own.

“I don’t need your pity. You and my Father can take your false bravado and shove it up your ass.” she said, retreating to her bedroom.

His steps followed her, but she refused to feel afraid and turned heel to face him.

“Have I hurt your ego again? Do you want to hit me?”  
“Hana why do you always have to do that?”  
“Do what? I am leaving, isn’t that what your **overLord** wishes?” she seethed.  
“I’ve never wanted to lay a hand on you and have never enjoyed causing you pain.”  
“Could have fooled me.” she cut in

He growled in irritation, moving to pin her against the wall and slamming the place just beside her head with his fist. “Listen for one damn moment in your life, you’re going through a hard time, I understand that, but the path you're teasing is not what you want to be meddling with because when this teenage tantrum ends, you will find yourself in a world of hurt.”

“It’s hard to heed the warning of a man who just told me he didn’t regret the pain.” she whispered in his ear.

His breath caught satisfyingly in his chest. For the man to finally be the one squirming was a relief to Hana. Tormenting him the way he tormented her only seemed fair. She was still angry and her hand was throbbing making her more irritable. She didn’t have the mental fortitude for any more back and forths with the man.

Her brain had been sufficiently mind fucked, and she wondered vaguely if she were being manipulated. The domestic abuse for whatever reason didn’t seem as bad in her mind. Violence was a part of her entire childhood. It didn’t phase her, finally experiencing it for herself.

In many ways, the physical pain was a relief, giving her something to focus on other than her emotional turmoil. Perhaps she was the masochist he said she was, or maybe she finally found her breaking point. The rejection, loneliness, judgements, it all weighed too heavily on her.

His forehead pressed against the wall near Hana’s face. He sighed as their bodies pressed close to each other. His erection was prominent against her hip bone causing her own arousal to make itself known. She wanted to cling to his chest, but she dared not move.

_It was a single fleeting moment that she knew would have to sustain her._

“If you insist on continuing down this path Hana, be prepared for my retribution.” he whispered in her ear, before kissing the side of her head softly.

She was alone, heart thumping from the stupidity of her situation. It was one even Hana didn't understand. Everything had escalated too quickly, without her consent. Why was she punished for trying to be normal life? What did her father want from her and was there more to the reason why he hired Akabayashi? The man’s behaviour made her think so.

Not to mention the man himself was a terrifying mystery. Her ribs ached and her hand sent waves of searing pain up her arm as a reminder. Through it all, Hana still had the urge to rebel.

Akabayashi had provided no good reasons for why she should head his or her father’s warnings. They simply sat on their, “you’re young, don’t be stupid, I’ve been there listen to me.” excuses. While giving her as little information as possible

Hana was no longer satisfied with those answers and was decidedly determined to continue on the path she had chosen. Popping a couple pills into her mouth, she decided to face the wrath and go to school, but not without a plan.  
  


* * *

 

Hair pinned in a tight bun and her grey uniform on, Hana clambered out of her patched up window. The street lights still glowed orange in the early morning darkness Ikebukuro was strangely quiet, dormant before the rush of Monday madness.

She walked the streets she so loved, shivering as she went. Summer uniform was a regrettable choice, one she made out of habit. The fall chill bit at her legs, causing her hair to pop through the surface, annoying her because she had shaved that morning.

In the middle of the city, about 20 minutes from Raira academy, Hana knew a little coffee shop that would be open. She had visited on many occasions to find a little normalcy after a particularly violent night working with her father.

The bell jingled when she pushed the door open, warm air blowing against her face. She exhaled, remembering just why she loved the place. It was a dimly lit shop, small and cluttered. It reminded her of a Grandmother’s house, a place where everything is kept on shelves next to everything else. She smiled, seating herself as the familiar wrinkled face appeared greet her.

 “Hana Awakusu, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen your foreign head.” Hamada said.

 

* * *

 

Hamada and his wife owned the shop, Hamada being retired from Ikebukuro’s under belly. He was a highly respected man, all the gangs agreeing to his demand for non-violence on his property. His, was a safe haven, a middle ground where anyone who needed a safe place could find peace. No one spoke of what was seen while inside and no one repeated anything. All sides, waring gangs included, held the treaty in great esteem.

Hamada had been around since Hana was young, teaching her early on all the important things. Like how to chase a dog and not get bitten or how to swim. He and his wife had no children of their own and in many ways treated Hana as their own grandchild.

Her upbringing brought the man much sorrow. It had been hard for him to walk away from the dark world that lay beneath Ikebukoro’s brightly lit streets. He saw in Hana the same desire that he wished he had avoided,

_but he always allowed her to find a path that suited her._

 

* * *

 

She took his hand in her’s and winced as her ribs throbbed. He peered at her through his spectacles, seeing more than she wanted seen. His wife set a steaming cup of coffee on the table, she made to sit, but saw her husband's face and nodded.

“Who cracked your ribs.” he said as she walked out.  
“Does it matter?”  
“It does to me.”  
“Akabayashi cracked them.” she answered, sipping her drink.  
“So, your father finally made his choice.” Hamada said thoughtfully.  
“What’s going on Hamada, why are they suddenly acting like this?”  
“You are the center pawn of everything going on in Ikebukuro, Hana. You must tread extremely carefully. The eye’s of the Information Broker have fallen on you, bringing you to the attention of many others.”  
“So I’m just a pawn in a tug of war match?” She fumed.  
“I’d say you started that tug of war match, did you let Izaya Orihara give you that hickey? No wonder the red demon cracked your ribs. ” he answered, eyes narrowed in amusement.

Hana blushed, guilt burning her throat.

“He cracked my ribs because I refused to answer him. I made it to my safe room before he could punish me for Izaya.”  
“You watch out kid, that man has a long history, provoke that demon and you may not walk out next time.”  
“I can’t stay there Hamada, I refuse to go back.” Hana said, urgency in her voice.

He nodded, sighing.

“I can’t blame you child. It pains me to see someone as bright as you caught up in this. But I’ll warn you, if you intend to play the game then be prepared to suffer losses and for the love of God, **never trust Izaya Orihara.** ”

Hana nodded, taking a large gulp of coffee to hide her embarrassment. Her chest felt lighter knowing someone else understood where she stood. Violence trailed after her, she could never be normal, or pretend. She would always have to be on alert for what was following after her.

“You get to school, they’ll be watching. As soon as you get out I want you to come here. I have someone who owes me a favor, you can stay with him. I’ll deal with the red demon if he comes looking.”

The sun had risen bright in the sky, it promised hope and even a little warmth, but she knew the chill followed it’s setting.

_Would she find a safe haven from the cold before it claimed her?_

 

* * *

 

Hana reclined in her seat, thankful the lunch bell had rang Anri behind her, Mikado next to her. The two were deep in conversation, but both smiled at her, welcoming her to join in. It was a strange new feeling. Having a group that included her. Their classmates watched them with skeptical faces. They observed Hana critically when she hobbled and winced out of the classroom at lunch time, Anri taking her shoulder.

“Hana are you alright?” she asked, concern lining her face.

Mikado's equally concerned beside hers. Hana sighed, knowing she would not be able to conceal the truth from her friends, especially when Masaomi showed up to have his say.  
“You know what Akabayashi does for a living Anri, don’t you? What my family name means?”

Anri blushed, nodding, as they made their way to the roof to eat their lunch. Hana moved away from her to grasp the fence, facing her two friends.

“Sometimes even I can’t escape it.” she said quietly to the pair of dark eyes watching her intently.

“What does that mean Hana?” Mikado asked, innocent confusion lining his face.  
“It means, there’s a reason I told you not to mess with certain people in Ikebukuro.” Masaomi chimed in.

His blonde head stood a few feet away, frowning at Hana. Masaomi walked up and poked Hana in the ribs, causing her to cry in pain. She clutched his shoulders, head falling into his chest. He took her bandaged hand and looked at it.

“You’re an idiot for getting mixed up with Izaya Orihara.” he whispered.  
“Izaya didn’t do this.” she replied angrily.  
“What did you think Akabayashi was going to do when you took the bait like a moron?”  
“Masaomi…” Anri said, concern in her voice as Masaomi’s rose in anger.

Mikado set his hand on her shoulder, silencing her mid sentence. His face void of the innocence he had displayed a moment earlier. Anri nodded, backing away to stand next to Mikado.

“My father changed long before I accepted the aid of Izaya orihara, and who can blame me at this point? How did I deserve this when all I wanted were answers and a small amount of privacy.” she replied, panting from the pain.  
“You’re not stupid enough to believe you can just walk away. Izaya is messing with your head, trying to use you like he uses everyone.” he said angrily.  
“Who doesn’t use me? At this point does it even fucking matter anymore?”  
“That sounds like a stupid teenage tantrum.”  
“At least I’m trying Masaomi, that's more than you’ve done, running from Saki this entire time. I won’t pus out, no matter what it costs me.”

He pushed her in his anger, pain etched on his face. She had touched a nerve. It was unfair of her. Hana wasn’t ignorant of the events that led to Masaomi leaving the **yellow scarves**. His girlfriend Saki suffered most from the exchange, being left in the hospital with two broken legs.

Masomi still felt guilt for the entire thing, he refused to visit her, believing she were better off without him. His vendetta against the Information Broker was his atonement for those sins.

She didn’t mean to hurt Masomi, but she didn’t know how to tell him how scared she was and how much she needed her friend. Her hand stung and her ribs throbbed, but mostly her heart thumped angrily in her chest, full of fear, isolation and anxiety. She needed Masomi,

_but he was pushing her away, and all of her decisions were the wrong one._

“I can tell you, trusting Izaya is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done.”  
“ Don’t you think I know that! But what else do I have Masaomi? What do I have to turn to? You have so much around you, but you refuse to see! You can’t protect me from the underbelly, I was born here, your arguments are useless unless you have a plan to get me out of this mess.” she yelled, losing her patience.  
“Hana I don’t know everything about your situation, but I think it’s important you know I’ll do whatever I can for you.” Anri said, moving forward to touch her hand.

The gesture startled Hana. Mikado’s hand joined Anri’s.

“The same goes for me.”

Masomi sighed, punching the fence in his anger.

“If you choose to trust Izaya Orihara, I will not be here for you.” Masomi said, walking back the way he came from.

Hana didn’t know when one stupid decision had spiralled into the shit storm she was stuck in. Her teenage brain and cycle of poor choices was catching up with her. She was never the dramatic type, but Ikebukuro had a way of changing a person.

Hana belonged in the underbelly. She loved the Awakusu and being a part of what it meant. She couldn’t rightly admit to her best friend the pain she felt at being pushed away from it. Her Father had made the decisions for her, and wondered why her teenage rebellion began to blossom.

_Izaya Orihara was a terrible man, but he had the keys to the doors Hana wanted open._

 

* * *

 

  
School ended much too soon for Hana’s liking, Mikado and Anri walking at Hana’s snail pace. They laughed and joked like normal teenagers. It was like a walk to death row, enjoying moments of peace before Hana had to make her great escape, run to her safe place, or be captured in the process.

They invited her to an ice cream place, which she sadly declined. She lied, telling them the Dr. needed to take a look at her injuries. They smiled, their eyes assessing her. Mikado's were different, again his normal innocence was gone.

_It made Hana wonder, who was Mikado Ryuugamine and what was he hiding?_

Raira’s gates stood between Hana and safety. She knew, somewhere beyond them **they** waited. She turned and made her way out the back entrance, hobbling her way through side streets. Every car that passed made her heart race. It was a 20 minute straight shot, but she knew she had to zig zag, had to do everything she had been trained, but also be unpredictable. They knew what routes she would want to take so she needed to be in their heads while they were in hers.

Too soon though, she stumbled across a pair of them waiting.

“Hana.” they called in the way old friends do.

She knew better than to trust them. Backing away she turned heel to leave, only to find two more waiting behind her.

“What’s wrong Hana? Why are you running from your family?” said the man closest to her.

His name was **Haruya Shiki** , Hana had known him her whole life. He was prominent in the Awakusu, a sidekick almost, to Akabayashi. He was a scarred and hardened man. A scary creature, even scarier than the red demon, although he did less fighting than Akabayashi and more threatening. Whenever the man spoke Hana had always been attentive.

Hana had always gotten along relatively well with the man, but he had no real taste for women in the Awakusu. He thought Hana was a weakness and had very little patience for her most of the time. Seeing his face scared Hana more than she realized.

_If Shiki was sent to get her, then her reality was a lot grimmer than she had let herself realize._

“The better question is why are you here Shiki." she said moving to the right.  
“Your father made a special request.”  
“Tell him to try a phone call and invite like a normal Father would. ” she said, preparing herself to fight.

He smirked, "Doesn’t work like that kid.”  
“Give him my apologies and tell him I’m a bit busy.” she said, lobbing a rock at his ugly face.

Shiki moved his head slightly to the right, dodged the rock and snapped his fingers. The two flanking her dove towards her at his command. She moved towards the right smashing the nearest to her with the other rock she had picked up. His head burst open, blood spraying her face.

Hanas ribcage screamed, but she couldn’t think of it, falling over in pain meant losing. The other pair of hands grabbed at her, but she managed to kick him straight in the groin and he fell. As precise as her combat was, she was still outnumbered. Shiki found a handful of her hair and yanked.

“Play nicely Hana.” he growled in her ear.

She yelled, reaching for his eyeballs, scratching at them. He tossed her to the ground lazily. She landed on her hands, trying to reduce impact to her ribs. The pain seared her side. She took in great heaving breaths to try and force it away. Shiki moved his foot to her skirt, pushing it up to reveal her panties.

“Can’t say I mind it when you fight, I'll take you anytime, face down in the dirt.”

The others howled with laughter. Hana rolled over onto her elbows, anger pulsing through her veins along with her pain.

“Oh what's wrong Hana, dont you wanna have a bit of fun? I heard you you had lots of fun with the Information Broker, share the wealth.” Shiki said, standing between her legs and forcing them open.

Out of nowhere a large fist knocked Shiki to the ground. Hana gasped in shock, looking into the blue glasses of Shizuo. He looked down at her, his veins bulging in anger.

“Get up kid.” he growled, pulling her to her feet. The force of it almost sent her into the tree behind him, but he corrected his force, and set her upright.

“What the fuck Shizuo.” Shiki yelled, wiping blood from his face.

“You Awakusu are pissing me off, get out of here before I force you out of here.”  
“We will go as long as Hana gets in the car.”  
“That’s not what I said.” Shizuo laughed manically, grabbing the man who reached for Hana by the throat.  
“Do you really want the Awakusu against you for this skank?” Shiki spat.  
“Send Akabayashi my way, I’ll let him know why I didn’t send Hana with a bunch of scar-faced pedophiles.” he replied, sending the man flying.

Shiki heeded the warning, getting in his car and driving away. Hana sucked in rapid gasps of air, clutching her ribcage. Shizuo looked at her, his anger subsiding.

“I hope you know what you’re doing kid.”  
“I don’t, but I know I didn’t want to go with them.”  
“Get those feet moving before I change my mind.”

Hana turned tail and ran.

“Thank you Shizuo.” she yelled, jumping the nearest fence.

He responded with a huff and waved her off. His mumbled; "teenagers" following after her.

She ran, panting zigzagging through yards and around cars that honked at her stupidity. She couldn’t think, just ran, feet pounding, lungs burning, body crying.  
Freedom was a block ahead of her, the blissful hope swelling in her chest, but it all came crashing down as a car door opened in her path. In her desperate need to escape she had tunnel visioned. She didn’t notice the familiar car, hadn’t noticed him sitting there waiting, for her.

Hana fell backwards onto the cement, his red glasses glinting in the light, cane pointed at her throat. The knife he had hidden in the bottom of it, pressed firmly against her neck.

“Please.” she begged.  
“Get in.” he said, ignoring her.  
“Please!”

Hana looked around her, she was invisible to the people. They were trained, they knew never to get involved with the Awakusu. No one would save her, rescue her from Akabayashi’s clutch. She could never be free.

“I warned you Hana Awakusu, but you don’t like listening.”  
“Maybe it’s because you refused to say please.” a smooth voice said from behind him.

Akabayashi gurgled, a knife sliding out of his back. His cane twirling around to hit the Information Broker, but Izaya had the upper hand and stepped aside. With the utmost ease he kicked Akabayashi .

“It’s bad practise to stab a man in the back, but I’m tired of the Awakusu sending their rabid dogs to chase after my teenage girls.” he said with an unapologetic shrug. He turned to Hana, lifting her from the ground, a twisted smile in place.

“I have come to your rescue M’Lady.” he said with a sarcastic bow.

She paused, uncertain, trying to get a look at Akabayashi bleeding in his car.

“Don't look so worried, I didn't hit anything important.” he chided  
“Because him not being dead changes the fact you stabbed the red demon and I disobeyed a direct order. “  
“Just bring something more valuable to the table.”  
“Im 16 years old! What do you think I have to bring, you psychopath!."  
“Oh, that hurts Hana, Your teenager turmoil is delicious as always, but oh so useless.”  
“I'm going to go get Hamada and see if he can help Akabayashi." she said, tones laced in worry.  
“Unfortunately I play for keeps. “ Izaya said, moving suddenly in her direction.

His knife was at her throat, dark eyes narrowed in annoyance. Hana watched him, wondering how she made so many stupid decisions. She gave a defeated sigh and followed after her **twisted knight**.

_He **had** saved her, but not from himself..._


	5. I've been holding back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akabayashi kept his eyes glued to Hana’s, the red fading away. The demon was leaving and the man was returning. He was truly like two entities. Hana could see the change in him, see him process the quivering girl beneath her. He struggled internally.
> 
> “Alright Pretty boy, you can point that thing somewhere else.”  
> “If you ever lay another hand on this girl again I do not care if you are an Awakusu, I will come after you,” Kadota said, the knife following Akabayashi as he stood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I posted this before the new year! yay!! I completely changed this chapter and most of chapter four. I've decided on a new direction!! I hope you like it. @_@ I am determined to get EVERY CHARACTER INTO THISSS

Izaya opened the door to Hana’s room, showing her the living space he had made up for her. Hana’s head spun, all the events making her feel sick to her stomach. She didn’t know what she had gotten herself into or what to expect next. Izaya was a strange being, one Hana wasn’t sure she wanted to be living with, but she made her bed and now she had to lie in it.

In retrospect, even though Izaya forced her to his home, he had saved her from a much worse fate. The Awakusu lived under a strict set of rules. They were collecting Hana because she had directly disobeyed her Father’s wishes. Her punishment would have been severe.

 

* * *

 

 

She had been taught the lesson at the ripe age of 12. She remembered vividly, the screams of a man who had allowed a small child to go free. Days and days they tormented him, Akabayashi always coming out to shoo her away and attempt to distract her with something else, but she wanted nothing more than to see what was happening.

_It was the beginning of her love affair with the underbelly that Akabayashi wanted so badly for her to avoid._

Her father obliged the curiosity against Akabayashi’s requests. Hana could never forget the pieces of the man in front of her. His eyeball dangling from its socket. He was tied to a chair, patches of skin missing from his face, his body completely naked.

Blood, more blood than Hana believed possible...everywhere. A finger sat uselessly on the floor. Hana didn’t scream, instead she turned to run, but Akabayashi forced her back. He dragged her towards the man, made her stand in front of him and picked up his finger to show her.

“Remember what you see Hana, you can never run away from it.” he warned, before letting her go.

She made it out the door, body shaking, covered in a cold sweat and, then she vomited uncontrollably. Akabayashi followed behind, patting her on the shoulder. It had disturbed her, but more than that it intrigued her.

Akabayashi left, believing it was enough to deter her, but from that day she couldn’t control her desire for the darkness. She couldn’t stop her need to push the limits, see how far she could push the man.

_She wanted him to punish her._

 

* * *

 

 

Hana plopped face down onto her bed. She didn’t want to think, or exist. She was tired of being **Hana Awakusu**. If she could go to sleep and not wake up, she would. More than anything, she desired safety, a place of her own.

“Don’t look so sad Hana, I bought you a pink comforter,” Izaya said, plopping himself next to her.  
“Is that how you justify kidnapping?” she replied into her pillow.  
“Kidnapping? I think you are forgetting what I just rescued you from, a thank you should be in order.”  
“Thank you for fucking up my life.”  
“Your life was fucked before I got here, you just never realized until I showed you something better.”

He rolled to poke her in the side. She grunted at him, confused by his oddly affectionate gesture. Hana peered sideways at him, surprised to find his dark eyes full of curiosity.

“I don’t understand you.”  
“I love you Hana, I love all humans, but more than that I like watching you,” he replied, the maniac creeping into his voice.  
“You are a psycho, you know that?”  
“And you are unpredictable! How beautifully things have worked out, with just a little bit of prodding!”  
“Awesome, thank you Izaya for making me a circus freak, glad to entertain you,” she fumed, marching towards the bathroom.

She slammed the door behind her, irritated by the man. He got points for honesty, but that didn’t change the fact we was fucking with her life for giggles. It was Hana’s own fault, but she didn’t feel like wallowing in anymore self pity. It felt better to hate someone else for a while.

It distracted her from the worry in her heart. The thumping that refused to go. His face continuously moved through her brain. Hana knew he was probably fine, he had been stabbed plenty of times.

Their situation had finally changed. There was no going back, no showing up at home to find his face waiting for her. Teenage mood swings were even beginning to irritate herself. She just wanted to hit the rewind button and make it all normal again.

_It would never be normal, being in love with a gangster._

He had made it clear, it would never not be complicated and his job mattered more, granted his was much more than a job. Despite understanding, it didn't make it hurt any less. In a fantasy world, they'd be just a girl and just a guy, except even in that world he was still old enough to be her dad.

The Information Broker knew this, he knew her turmoil was futile. He found the ultimate entertainment in her heart’s plight. Yet, he placed himself to aid in her sexual release. He got the best of both worlds, while Hana remained an idiot.

**An idiot who couldn’t, or rather, didn’t want to say no to his offer.**

The only thing that deterred her was the fact she did not know how far, “for keeps” went. Would she ever escape now that she had been caught in Izaya’s clutch?

She sighed, submerging herself beneath the water. It was too complicated, but she was set on one thing, forget Akabayashi.

Hair washed and tethered in a wet braid, Hana left the bathroom in her towel expecting to find it empty. Izaya remained on her bed, arms crossed beneath his head, eyes closed. One squinted open when she shut the door. He didn't say anything, just watched her silently. She moved to the dresser, wondering if she would find any clothing.

She laughed out loud, looking down at the lacy underwear folded in a neat pile. She pulled a red pair out, raising an eyebrow as she showed him.

“Don't flatter yourself. Namie filled the dressers,” he said lazily.

Hana accepted the challenge in his voice, slipping the panties on underneath her towel, then turning away from him. She let go of it, allowing it to fall to the floor and secured herself in the barely there bra. Her breasts bulging out the top, nipple almost exposed.

It was the very wrong size, but she imagined Izaya wouldn't mind. She turned, both his eyes watching her, obvious interest written on his face.

“Pity, I guess I'll have to find someone else to tell me if they like them,” she simpered.

His eyes narrowed in annoyance.

_Izaya Orihara didn't like to share._

Hana walked casually to the bedside, plopping down beside him. His eyes followed her cleavage. It bounced prettily for it’s spectator. It only took a moment for his arm to push her flat on her back. His slim body gliding on top of her. He let her arms remain free, his hands squeezing her hips unkindly.

He forced a gasp from her lips, his fingernails piercing her skin.

“Be warned Hana, when you make a deal with the devil, he demands your wages in sin.”

She didn’t fight it, consumed by his greedy fingers. They roamed where they pleased, pinching the pink flesh beneath them until finally pushing her bra aside. The sensation of the pleasure mixed with pain left Hana wanting more. Izaya knew exactly how to play both sides. Giving her just enough good to drive her through the pain. He was seemed satisfied with her squeals and squirms when he forced her to the brink of her pain threshold.

His mouth bit her shoulder particularly hard as he distracted her by rubbing her nipples. She arched into him, his strong body holding her in place. Hana never imagined the sensation of being trapped, unable to stop Izaya would be such a pleasurable one. She fought him, causing him to hurt her more. Forcing her submission sent him into a wild rage. It was unlike the calculated Information Broker she knew. His body responded very vulgarly, his movements almost primal. Every part of her drove him into madness. He refused to take no for an answer.

He sat up abruptly unzipping his pants in the process, “Blow me.” he commanded.

Hana felt compelled to obey. She had never had a penis in her mouth before but Izaya’s voice erased any trepidation she felt. On her hands and knees she crawled towards him. His erect penis waiting for her.

She peered down at the erect penis testing it’s texture. Her tongue slid across the side of the soft flesh. It was surprisingly warm and smooth and her tongue slid around it effortlessly. His moans told her she was doing something right.

Gradually, she used more of her tongue, her lips sucking lightly at the sides, but never taking him in. She could feel him twitching every time she got closer. The Information Broker finally lost his patience as she was kissing the head. His unkind hand grabbed her hair and pushed her downwards.

“Take it.”

Her full lips encompassed it it as he slid his cock down her throat. She gagged, and he moaned into it, pulling her head back up in glorious relief only to force it down again. She squeezed his leg, hoping he’d get the memo to ease up but he only laughed quietly.

“I want to cum, listening to you choking on my cock. Just imagine the red dogs face when he hears about it, “ Another thrust, Hana re-positioned her tongue, flicking his head as he pulled her away.

He yanked her head sideways, arching her away from his penis. Her hands flew to her hair, eyes directed at the ceiling. She panted, trying to contain her gag reflex.

“Do you like that?” he asked, through a smirk  
“Yes.” she mumbled.

He pulled harder on her hair, pushing her nose into the side of his cock, hitting her cheeks with it's length. She finally lost her patience as well and grabbed his penis with her hands.

“Give it to me.” she demanded

Pleased with her response, he pushed her face back to his penis, sliding it forcefully inside again. His movements became more shallow, allowing Hana less time to recover between gags, but he seemed to enjoy the sensation every time her throat convulsed.

Gradually, Hana felt less like she was going to vomit and more comfortable with the feeling. The power in her hands drove her forward against his hand. She bounced, rumbling in her throat as she went. His hand forgot its purpose and loosened its grip.  
She could feel his penis changing in her mouth, he was ready to come.

The question was how would she take it. In a last minute decision she shoved him as far down her throat as she could manage, hot semen spilling downwards. Her throat convulsed, massaging his penis, aiding the semen out.

“Shit,” he grunted, thrusting upward.

Hana swallowed massaging his shrinking penis gently with her tongue, before letting it go. Sitting up, she put her breasts back into her bra, and looked at the man, his brown eyes glazed over, but still staring at her with hungry need.

His penis zipped back in, Hana was flat on her back again, Izaya’s head moving for her clitoris. He licked her lace panties, pulling them away with his teeth. His lips brought so many blissful feelings to Hana’s body. Things she never believed possible. The Broker had a particular taste, but he always paid back, and knew just what Hana wanted.  
The satisfaction that came from every part of his body was more than Hana had ever known.

She had felt need... the need for Akabayashi’s body on her own, but all that need had never seen an outlet, only violence. Whereas, Izaya showed her all the glorious ends of such a feeling. He was an attentive lover and enthusiastic. He pushed her where she didn’t know she wanted to go. He saw more than anyone else ever had.

_More importantly he made her feel normal for it._

The body shaking orgasm came with ease and Izaya plopped down beside her, his face making its home in her cleavage. She never knew breasts could bring such contentment, but the Information Broker appeared to love them.

Hana absent mindedly rubbed his head, pulling her fingers through the black hair, so different from her own. They remained silent, cuddling...something Hana never imagined would happen with the self serving guy. Neither of them said anything, it was a moment just to hide away from the noise that Ikebukuro brought.

Their bodies intertwined, both respecting the post orgasm truce. Neither had the energy to spare for their usual back and forth. Izaya would eventually leave for his god forsaken work and Hana would agonize over her terrible teenager choices, but there was no going back.

If Izaya played for keeps, Hana played to win, whatever the prize would be.

 

* * *

 

 

Namie didn't bother to knock and didn't seem at all surprised by their indecency. She rambled off his calls for the night and told him, ‘to get his pedophile ass out of bed,’ before marching away. Izaya smirked, giving Hana’s nipple an unapologetic bite.

The door shut behind Izaya, leaving her in silence. Hana was alone...alone in her own head. She returned to the dresser to finish getting dressed and then immediately retreated from her prison cell.

The flat was quiet, Namie locked away in her office. Hana made her way to the fridge, finding it full of the most delicious ingredients. Mouth watering, she began to chop the perfect vegetables, simmer her rice and sear the flank steak

It was slow work, having one virtually useless hand and Hana’s aches and pains were making themselves known. Her ribs throbbed, reminding her of the red haired man she wanted to forget. She had hoped Izaya would make her forget, but life would never be that easy for her.

Her meal plated, she was startled by the the doorbell and Namie making her existence known. She hurried by only to return with Shinra in tow. He frowned at her and Hana gave him a feeble smile. She offered him a bowl of food hoping to appease his disapproving-dad face. Namie abandoned them without bothering to excuse herself.

Munching food, they sat at the bar together. “If only my Celty could make me such a meal,” he gushed.  
“Are you in love Shinra?“

He blushed , touching his cheeks like a coy girl.

“Will someone ever love me the way you love Celty?”  
“Of course they will Hana. Perhaps if you had better taste in men,” he laughed awkwardly.  
“ Oh, what, you don't think a mobster or a kidnapper could ever fall in love,” she said, voice laced in sarcasm.  
“I don't think Izaya could ever love anything other than his own gain, and you should have known what you were getting yourself into with the red demon.”  
“Because I really had a lot of choices.” she replied darkly.  
“Oh, yeah, I imagine being an Awakusu can make dating hard! I will say Hana, if you do give your heart to Izaya, don't pretend not to know what he is.”

The doctor gave sound advice. It was easy to forget who the Information Broker was when he laid beside her, giving her everything she desired. In bed was a neutral space, but once he exited the room, Izaya Orihara was all business. Hana could not begin to understand why she was valuable. For a single moment in her life she wanted to be a boring, ordinary, Japanese girl, with nothing else attached.

She groaned when Shinra began feeling her ribs. He already knew they were broken, but torturing was apparently a part of teaching her to rest. He unwrapped her mutilated hand, his eyes full of disgust.

Hana couldn’t look at. Sometimes she forgot it was ruined and went to use it. The searing pain sent waves of nausea through her. It was a mark of the man she couldn’t escape. It hurt, always throbbing, but more often it just reminded her… of what she wanted.

“Can you for one day, let your bones rest. You need to stay in bed for the next day--” “Alone,” he added with narrowed eyes.

Hana looked sideways, pretending not to know what he was insinuating. She accepted the pain medicine, looking forward to being too high to care about how fucked her life had become.

Shinra left her, shaking his head and glancing back to ensure she laid down. It was hard to read the doctor. He was a one track man, only the love of his celty moved his heart. Still, Hana thought she saw sadness in his eyes when he looked at her. Probably more pity, for the 17 year old girl who only made messes.

She closed her eyes and ignored the self pity that pushed at the edges of her mind. Instead, she welcomed the high that came with her pain relief.

 

* * *

 

 

“What the hell are you doing?” Izaya asked, taken aback by her presence in the dark living room.

The sun was just beginning to rise over the horizon and Hana was watching it from her upside down view on the couch. She found the sensation of blood rushing to her head as it dangled over the edge, very enjoyable. She grinned stupidly at Izaya and bobbed her head.

His eyes narrowed watching her. The man never trusted anyone.

“Are you high?”  
“It was Drs orders, don't sound so judgy.”  
“Drs orders were for you to rest your ribs, not try to re-break them.”

She huffed as he pulled her off the couch into a standing position.

“They feel fineeh,” she slurred, tipping sideways.  
“Shinra did this on purpose,” Izaya fumed under his breath.

His strong slender hands forced her into bed, but Hana didn't want the fun to stop. She sat up abruptly

“Buut Izaya I need a burger. Like from that American place. Macdoonalds? You know, that new place,” she rambled.  
“I will tie you to this bed if you can’t listen,” he warned, pushing her back down.  
“I can’t say I minded the last time you tied me down, so please do daddy.”

Izaya took a deep breath, looking towards the ceiling fan.

“So the cheese burger???”  
“I will send Namie,” he said, retrieving his ties from her bedside table.  
“Heyy, wait you can’t seriously tie my down.”  
“Of course I can, you couldn't stop me if you tried. It’s the advantage of not being high. Don't they teach you that at school?”  
“Mmm, turns out I don't like listening and I like it when you take advantage of me.”  
“I did no such thing, you have always been in a consenting state,” he corrected, pinching her wrists as he yanked the holds tight.  
“Oh come off it Izaya, you can’t say you're not tempted.”  
“Actually I can. When I describe to that dog just how you begged me to jam you full of my cum, it will be because you wanted it, not because you were high."

Hana's heart jumped in her chest. Izaya loomed over her with a possessive kind of grin, his fingers tracing her lips. It piqued her arousal, the way he used her, fantasized about dominating her just to get back at the red demon.

It was so twisted, fucking her to get at Akabayashi, but the prospect drove them both mad with need. Their dark minds feeding off the other, leading down this path of debauchery. She wanted him so badly and he knew it. It was an obsessive vulgar kind of need. No fondness existed between them. Only a jealousy that drove him to do things to her that she had always wanted.

_Izaya Orihara would never love her, he just wanted to possess her and she didn't want to stop him._

 

* * *

 

 

“A WEEK” Hana yelled, flexing her freed arms.  
“You were ordered on bed rest.”  
“So you drug me into submission for an entire week of my life?”  
“You’re in the house of the Information Broker, I feel like drugging is what is expected?” Namie chimed in, dropping a sandwich on the bedside table.

Hana rubbed her throbbing head, feeling too queasy to eat. Izaya watched her, eyes unapologetic.

“I need fresh air,” Hana said, standing and nearly falling over.  
“Must we? I have some episodes of OUAT to catch up on,” he whined.

Hana continued, stumbling through the house like a drunk person, barely holding to her consciousness. What had happened in a week? Was Akabayashi alright? Had the city broke out into world war 3? What about her assignments?

So many insignificant things, but they were her life. It was all she had to cling to a speck of normalcy. She couldn’t let the underbelly erase her. She was down the stairs faster than Izaya had anticipated. Stepping out into the autumn air, cold against her exposed skin.

Hana looked around, blinking, the sun setting over the horizon, businessmen and women hustling home for dinner. Some lingering students who didn’t spend their time studying, huddled in groups, laughing.

A deep breath in, life was still there. It was the chill freezing her nose, her breath rising in little lines of steam, reminding her of a train. The stupid, childish amusement of it made her smile. Hana was real, her ribs no longer throbbing. Life was still hers, until... Izaya dropped his iconic jacket upon her shoulders. She pulled it over her arms, thankful for it’s warmth. He pulled the hood over and put his hand on her shoulder to steer in in his desired direction, through the loud streets of Ikebukuro.

“Where are we going.?”  
“You asked for a cheese burger.”  
“Is this your attempt at apologize for drugging me?”  
“It was Drs orders, as you said.”  
“So we’re going on a date, the Information Broker goes on dates?”  
“When it’s useful.” he replied, skipping along his path.  
“There’s always an agenda with you,” Hana sighed.

It didn’t matter, she was hungry enough not to care. The idea of a cheeseburger was enough temptation for her not to make a fuss.

Izaya dropped a tray full of choices in front of her. Hana’s eyes bulged with hunger, her fingers jamming fries into her drooling mouth.

“You gonna have some?” she asked between mouthfuls.  
“I’m a vegan,” he replied, eyes narrowed.

Hana choked with laughter before realizing he was serious, “For real?”  
“I don’t believe in poisoning such a perfect vessel as mine,” he answered idly, as though it were obvious.

Hana shrugged, inhaling a McChicken.

“Is that Izaya Orihara.” a voice boomed.

Izaya closed his eyes slowly, preparing himself. Hana looked up at the handsome man, moving in their direction. She would not mind being introduced to such a man. He walked like a fighter and a playboy.

“Rocchi, what misfortune has brought you into Ikebukuro?”  
“I count it a blessing every time I get to step into this city and see all these lovely ladies you keep to yourself,” the redhead man dubbed Rocchi answered.

He stood over their table, eyes twinkling behind sunglasses. A peculiar hat that reminded Hana of the anime, bleach, on his head. There was no doubt he was handsome, with a charming smile, as confirmed by the group of girls swooning behind him. Rocchi turned his gaze onto Hana, her mouth full of burger. She choked under the scrutiny.

“Why is a bangin girl like you on a date with this loser?”  
“Like I’d go on a date willingly with this guy, he kidnapped me..” she answered, forcing herself to swallow the 3 nuggets in her mouth.

Izaya exhaled, irritated with her stupidity.

“Really Hana?” he hissed before moving away from Rocchi’s blow with catlike ease.

Hana’s eyes bulged, confused by the exchange. Izaya continued to hop away, Rocchi’s fists in hot pursuit. “You know I always have to defend the ladies Izaya.” Rocchi yelled, apologetically.  
“It’s business Rocchi, you know how it is.”

Jamming a few more nuggets into her mouth, Hana took the distraction as the opportunity to escape out the back. Pulling her hood tightly around her face, she sauntered off. Hoping no one would recognize her.

Hana felt lost. She didn't know who to turn to. She wanted to know if Akabayashi was okay but couldn't exactly go looking for the man. Izaya would be angry with her but she didn't care. He deserved to squirm a bit after drugging her for so long.

Being homeless sucked, but Hana knew there was still a place for her. Anri lived alone and had said she would help Hana. It would be a mission explaining her disappearance but Haha had the feeling Anri kept as many secrets as Hana.

 

* * *

 

 

30 minutes of walking in circles being confused. Hana found the quaint apartments Anri had described to her. The familiar car of the Red Demon, parked out the front stopped Hana dead in her tracks.

Relief spread over Haha as she sprinted up the stairs. She decided not to knock immediately. It was better to get a glimpse of the man to ensure he was okay and then make herself known to Anri once he left.

Hana crept around the balcony. Voices came from what she assumed was the bedroom, catching her attention.

“We both need it Akabayashi-san, please,” Anri's voice said.  
“It was never supposed to be like this,” Akabayashi replied in the familiar, aroused whisper.

Slowly, Haha peered around the corner. She could see into the bedroom. The sliding glass door was slightly ajar. It gave her a perfect view in, but they didn’t seem to notice her.

Anri stood before the strong man, her dress falling to her feet. Her breasts were as exquisite as Haha always imagined they would be. Shocked anger pulsed through Hana as she watched the events unfold.

Anri was pushing him onto his back, getting on top, the red demon grabbing handfuls of her breasts before unzipping his pants. Her panties slid aside, she slipped him inside of herself, moaning with every inch of him. Her hands placed on his chest as she bounced and he groaned.

“You feel so good.” he said, grabbing her hips to bounce her more roughly.

Hana couldn't look away. Anri's arching back allowing her to feel Akabayashi the way Hana had always wanted. His hands squeezing her hips, begging for more Anri. The moved back and forth to her glorious breasts he couldn’t look away from.

“I'm so close.” she whispered, flush with pleasure.

It was his cue to flip her onto her back. He thrust into her wildly, taking a mouthful of her nipples.

“Please cum inside of me,” she begged, hands grabbing his face.

Intimately, he pressed himself onto her mouth. She welcomed him, her legs locking around his back. They cried into each others mouths as they came. Akabayashi falling onto Anri's chest, sighing contently

They remained wrapped together, pushing Hana past her tolerance. She knew watching would only hurt her. The scene drove a stake into her heart, but hadn’t been able to make herself look away. Seeing the man get off was all she ever wanted. The twisted reality of her heart never ceased to amaze her. Watching him flip over her close friend, aroused the need inside of her, but watching them cum together… It broke the last part of Hana that was still holding it all together.

She had no family and the truth of the entire situation was, she loved the man. Hana needed him, but he didn't need her. The last hope inside of her, that life would somehow go back to normal, had shattered. Her path was trapped with Izaya. A path of her own making.

_Who could save her?_

 

* * *

 

 

Her legs moved her without her realizing. She just needed to move. Run as far away from it all as she could get. A soft body caught her, stopping her in her tracks. His hands had her shoulders and the innocent eyes of Mikado Ryuugamine watched her sadly.

“What're you--” Hana trailed off.  
“He started coming by more often. I didn't really know how to tell her..,” Mikado sighed, gazing at the apartment.

Hana studied his face and realized, Mikado knew the brokenness of her own heart. Without hesitation, she fell into his chest and cried. She couldn't stop herself. Mikado had a soft openness about him. His friendship came without judgement, unlike Masaomi. He held her tightly, the way Hana always dreamed of being held. Their hearts connected by the brokenness the two people laying in ecstasy, brought them.

“You have more reason to cry than the rest of us Hana. I won't cry, I just need to fix it all,” He said into her hair.

She pulled away and wiped her eyes. Feeling slightly humiliated by her outburst.

“Come to my place. I want to share something with you.”

She nodded and followed Mikado. His apartment was small. Hana realized he, Anri, Masaomi and her were all parentless juveniles. Thrown to the mercy of Ikebukuro, trapped by its allure.

“I don't really have furniture but please feel free to sit on the bed,” He said apologetically

She sat down on the squeaky mattress while Mikado booted up his pc. He typed furiously before opening a window to show Hana.

_**The dollars** was scrawled at the top._

“No way! You're a dollar?” she said, jumping up to look over his shoulder.

She peered for a moment, realizing she was looking at the admin page.

“Mikado..,” Hana said slowly.  
“I created the dollars,” He said matter-o- factly.  
“Why're you telling me?”  
“Izaya hasn't already told you? I guess he is a man of his word after all,”  
“Izaya knows who you are?”  
“He approached me very soon after I arrived in Ikebukuro. He told me I’d eventually get bored with being normal,” He laughed.

Hana took a deep breath and flopped onto her back to stare at the ceiling.

“I am the last person to be saying this, but be careful with Izaya Orihara.”  
“I feel like you're saying that to yourself more than me.”  
“Somehow I let that man convince me to sabotage my life and I have no idea how to escape his snare.”  
“That's why I want you to join the dollars, publicly that is.”

Hana turned, dumbstruck, to stare at the calm face.

“I would say that's a death sentence, but I'm already as good as a dead woman, so why the hell not.”  
“Please don’t tell Masaomi or Anri who I am, not until I fix this.”

Hana nodded her agreement, excited by her new, likely terrible plan. Anything to distract her from the pain she felt over the Red Demon and Anri.

“How do you face her everyday at school?” Hana whispered.

Mikado laid down beside her, both of them looking at the ceiling.

“Because I love her,” He said simply,as though there was nothing else to it.  
I love her too,” Hana sighed.  
“And him?” he asked, turning to look at her.  
“He makes me trapped, trapped in these feelings, in the Awakusu... but Izaya makes me free. The, why can't I stop running back to him?”  
“Perhaps it's because you know you should be running away from Izaya, ” he chuckled.  
“Neither of us will, because Izaya knows exactly what we desire.”  
“For now.” He shrugged.  
“Where do I go now. If I’m going to try and run from Izaya?”

Mikado sat up and sent a quick text.

“Don't hate me, but Masomi is on his way, he knows a few people. Some dollars who will help you out.”  
  
“WHAT IS THIS HANA,” the blonde head yelled as soon as they had left Mikado.

His finger was smashing violently on the screen of his flip phone. Mikado had written a post that went viral in minutes, sending the dollars in a frenzy. The daughter of the Awakusu, joining the ranks of the dollars, defying her father. It was the kind of gossip the internet lapped up, especially when a high profile family was involved.

“ You told me to not trust Izaya, so I turned to the dollars,” she replied casually.  
“ **hfhdhshdjjd** …” he huffed, too furious to form a word.  
“Please Masaomi, just help me or I have to go back to Izaya.”

His eyes softened when her mutilated hand touched his own. He held it firmly in his hand.

“If it means getting back at the bastard who did this to you, I'm in."

Hana threw herself onto Masaomi’s shoulders, nearly strangling him with her hold.

“Hana, I'm a taken man,” he said in her ear.  
“Could have fooled me,” she laughed, pulling away.  
“If Anri wasn't the girl for me. I'd consider it,” he winked.  
“You'll have to fight me for her.”  
“WAIIIT. I'd be totally down to watch the two of you…” he winked.  
“Keep on dreaming Masomi,” she said, eyes rolling.  
“This is the place,” Masomi said, leading them into,

**Russia Sushi.**

 

* * *

 

 

Inside they found a table full of faces Hana knew, but never formally met. Kadota was the Dollars champion and all together, good guy of Ikebukuro. Many people held high respect for the man, most having been helped by him at some point. He always rolled with his close friends. Geek squad, Erica and Walker and their driver...whose name Hana never knew.

“Masaomi, how goes it man?” Walker said, smacking him on the back.  
“Omg who’s this dream girl with you?” Erica gushed, eyes appraising Hana.  
“And why is she wearing the Information Broker’s jacket..” Kadota said, eyes narrowed.

Hana blushed, she hadn't thought about getting rid of the jacket. She had forgotten she was wearing it and what it might be saying about her. No doubt Izaya had planted on purpose, the man was always a step ahead, even when pretending to do something nice.

“This is my best friend, Hana Awakusu.”  
“NOO WAAY SHES A MOBSTER BABE.” Walker and Erica yelled.  
“Why did you bring the Awakusu here. There's been a lot of talk about the trouble she brings.” Kadota said unapologetically.  
“C’mon man, she’s not like the rest of us, she was born into that. Her trouble came with trying to get out.” Masaomi said.

Erica and Walker had descended upon Hana, pulling her jacket from her shoulders to appraise the rest of her. Taking golden locks in their hands as though to be sure it was real. Erica moved in close, scrutinizing her blue eyes.

“The foreign daughter of a gang Lord, wanted by all, and banging the Information Broker. It’s too much to dream for.” Erica gushed.

“Is that the truth?” Kadota said to Hana, moving her attention away from the groping hands on her body.

Hana pried herself away from the greedy grasp of Walker and Erica who sulked in response. She held up her right hand, exposing, unwinding her bandage to expose the flesh beneath.

“Do the Awakusu do this for any old reason? Maybe trusting Izaya Orihara was a stupid idea, but I had nowhere else to turn.” Hana replied through gritted teeth.

“SHOW MEE.” Erica squealed, snatching her hand to admire the mutilated member.  
“Who did it?” Walker asked, equally as excited by Hana’s deformity.  
“Akabayashi did it...on my stove.” she replied quietly.

The day felt so far away. The closeness she felt to the man, the single moment of honesty. He had been there with her, opening up for a single moment, giving Hana a glimpse of all she wanted.

All of the good feelings had been ripped away watching him enter Anri and hold her. It pained her more than she would allow herself to feel.

“You two, leave the girl alone--” he scolded Erica and Walker, who were creeping back up.  
“I’m not particularly fond of the idea of the Awakusu having my name, but my conscious won’t let me send you back to them. Let me be clear though, any business with the Information Broker and you’re out,” Kadota said, offering Hana a plate of food.

Masaomi stood, “Places to be people to see,” he said, patting Hana’s head.  
“Thanks..,” she said, unable to find the right words to show her gratitude in front of the others.

Kadota slid over, taking the seat Masaomi left open.

“Can I?” he asked, gesturing to her hand.

Hana nodded, sliding her hand towards his nervously. He took a hold of it, looking at it with a sad look on his face.

“You’re just a kid... Mikiya’s own kid... He really?” he questioned full of disbelief.

Hana stared back at the brown eyes. Kadota’s light hair was hidden behind his bandana. The man was gentle, something Hana was not accustomed to. More than that, Hana felt safe with her hand in his. Kadota wasn’t looking for an angle, he just saw Hana. The reality of her life and the violence that followed. He got it more than even she understood.

“I got off easy..,” Hana replied, a harsh laugh falling from her mouth.

He raised an eyebrow.

“I would have had a lot more than this if I hadn’t made it to my safe room when Akabayashi found out about Izaya.”

Kadota let her hand go and rubbed his forehead.

“You are a girl who attracts trouble and I am probably an idiot for taking you in, but listen Hana--” he said, his voice turning seriously.  
“I’m listening.”  
“Noone should ever touch you if you don’t want them to. I see in your eyes...that glazed look about violence. You have to come back from that..,”

Hana’s heart thumped in her chest, heat moving to her cheeks. It was a strange sentiment, but it meant more to Hana than anything else going on in her life.

“This..” he said, taking her hand, “should not be an answer for anything.”

“Dotachin you thief, moving in to steal our girl with your sweet talk.” Erica interrupted, punching the man in his arm.

Walker slid in close behind Hana, hands on her shoulders, head resting near her own face. The closeness didn’t bother Hana one bit. The two were weird, but Hana found it appealing. she had been touched in many different ways recently, but sitting in

_Russia Sushi was the first time she felt safe._

“We saw her first Dotachin, how could you do this to us..” Walker hissed.

Hana thought if his eyes had been visible, daggers would be shooting from them, it made her laugh. Kadota shook his head at the two and moved back to his plate, giving Erica free reign to scoop Hana away and begin a serious debate about what costumes to dress her in.

“Your boobs are amazing Hana, not quite as good as Anri’s...but we can work with them.” Erica appraised, poking her cleavage.  
“You know Anri?” Hana asked.  
“Anri is our goddess!”

Hana smiled. Her heart warred inside of itself. The look on Mikado’s face swam over her, the way he had said he loved Anri. Hana couldn’t help but feel the same love. She wanted to be angry at Anri, hate the girl. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t. She needed Anri and Hana knew it wasn’t Anri, it was Akabayashi who brought her pain. She refused to let the man steal anything more from her.

“She is a goddess, isn’t she?” Hana said, thinking of her perfect friend.

Walker and Erica’s eyes bulged as their devious minds began to whirl.

“HANA….YOU’RE A LESBIAN?? WITH ANRI AREN’T YOU,” they accused, as though angry they had never been in on the secret.  
“Can’t say I’d mind that,” Hana laughed.

The two fell into a pile of mush on the floor and Hana took the opportunity to escape. Kadota was heading out the door and Hana made to follow, but ran straight into a brick body that sent her flying backwards. Hana hit the floor painfully.

Shizuo barely noticed until his friend jabbed him in the side and he looked down at her. Hana got up, rubbing her head where she had hit the table. Kadota moved into Hana’s view to see if she was ok.

“Looks like you found some better friends kid, now I can’t regret pissing off the Awakusu.” Shizuo said, patting her head.

Hana flinched, afraid of the man’s strength but his hand was uncharacteristically soft and his face oddly paternal. His laugh rumbled the room, causing Hana to peak through one closed eye.

“Kid, you ain’t never gotta worry about me. Stick with this guy he’ll take good care of you and if those dogs come looking for you again call me up.” he growled, imagining the fight.

Hana stared at the man touched by his words. It was a strange day for Hana. She decided to roll with it and threw caution to the wind and wrapped her arms around Shizuo, her head barely reaching his chest. She held him tightly, holding to him how she wished she could hold onto her life. His rock body stiffened awkwardly.

“Don't you let any of them see your tears Hana--” Shizuo said, touching her cheek gently. “They don’t deserve them. Now get outta here.” he finished, pushing her out the door after Kadota.

 

* * *

 

 

They walked silently side by side. Hana’s gaze faraway. The street lights were sparse, leaving them in the dark for long periods. Hana always loved the nights in Ikebukuro. The people that continued to work, the criminals waking up, the kids refusing to go home. It was a place where someone was never alone.

_The lights never went out._

The darkness reminded Hana of the shadow that followed her, waiting for it’s moment to strike. Spending a life looking for it didn’t feel like much of a life a all. Hana loved the dark, but the light standing next to her made her reconsider her fascination.

Akabayashi was her weakness. The man represented all the allure of the underbelly. Everything that Hana aspired to be a part of, but she realized how little she knew of the world. How small was her view? Could Kadota’s world be what she needed?

“Do you think the dollars can ever change anything?” Hana asked, breaking their silence.  
“Change what?”  
“You know, be something more than a forum, can the dollars ever do anything to change Ikebukuro?”  
“The dollars isn’t like. It’s a place to belong, but we will never be like the color gangs or the Awakusu. It’s something more.”  
“So you don’t think the dollars should be mobilized?”  
“That would defeat the very point of its existence.”  
“Yet, here you are helping my existence,” she pointed out.  
“That’s different,” he mumbled.  
“Is it? I heard you help a lot of people. Why can’t the dollars be more like you, as a whole?”  
Kadota blushed slightly, glancing sideways at Hana.

“Good will always attract the bad, we can’t make the dollars anything, or we’d lose what we are. Every person has to be free to live the life they choose.”  
“The Awakusu chooses to steal my life,” Hana said quietly.  
“It’s a hard line Hana. Removing yourself from a violent gang like the Awakusu is understandable. They have been around for a long time and rule much of Tokyo. The dollars is a refuge away from all that Ikebukuro harbours, I hope that it does not become like all the gangs around it, because then I’d quit.”  
“I imagine many would follow you.”

She turned to smile at the strange man. His returned hers, though it didn’t reach his eyes. Hana knew Kadota pitied her. The domestic abuse was shocking to most, and on some levels Hana understood. Normal people didn’t get punished in the same ways she was. To Hana it was everyday stuff

_and that mentality, more than her mutilated hand, disturbed him._

The girl brainwashed to be okay with the abuse, having never known a gentle touch. Could anyone blame her from running away? The good man’s conscious couldn’t send her back into the lion's den. Hana just hoped the acceptance of her as a burden would not be to his detriment.

The breeze chilled her to the bone. She realized Izaya’s jacket had been confiscated by Erica and Walker. She imagined they were going to perform some super nerdy religious rights with the garment. The image made her smile as her teeth began to chatter.

Kadota handed her the sweatshirt he had shrugged off.

“Oh..you don’t have to..” Hana said, but he insisted.

She pulled it over herself. It was about 3 sizes too large but so warm Hana couldn’t complain. It smelled musky, man sweat mixed with after shave. Hana found she liked the smell, it was comforting in many ways.

“We need to get you some clothing.”  
“My apartment is 2 blocks east if you think we can risk going there.”  
“We can scope it out, gather what we can quickly before anyone shows up.”

The place was empty, Hana’s window still ajar as she had left it. Nothing had moved in her bedroom. Kadota waited outside in the hall to allow her privacy to change. She tossed her dirty shirt in the hamper out of habit and changed bras. Glad to be rid of the push up she had been wearing since Izaya’s.

Her bra clicked when something moved in the corner, startling her. She hadn’t noticed him there, waiting for her. It was dark and she kept the lights off, with only the street light illuminating a fraction of her bedroom. He moved into the light, his face holding his usual smirk.

“You couldn’t have made yourself known sooner,” she whispered, eyes narrowed.  
“I just thought you were giving me a show,” he shrugged.

The insinuation made her cheeks burn, remembering the shower she had taken in front of him.

“It’s a little bit different now.”  
“I see that, you have another boyfriend, what are you at now, 4?”

Hana’s blood boiled with anger. She turned away from him and reached into her drawer, yanking out several handfuls of clothing to shove into her bag. When she was satisfied she grabbed one for herself.

“Aren’t you going to ask me how I’m feeling after your stupidity got me stabbed?” he said, moving into her bubble.

Her breath caught in her chest, her feet taking a tentative step away from the man. He followed, steps forcing her back against the wall. She glanced towards the door, thinking to scream.

“Go on, call for boytoy number 4,” he dared, his face close to hers.

Her chest shook, the breath catching. Her attraction for the man was as strong as ever, but Anri on top of his body kept playing in her head. She shook it, trying to make it leave.

“You’re angry at me, but please just go.”  
“Angry? Me? What makes you think that?” he said, his voice dangerously sarcastic.  
“I didn’t ask Izaya to stab you, he showed up on his own,” she stuttered.

His thumb moved to her quivering lip, pressing down hard. Hana shut her eyes, trying to shut the man out with them. She wanted to be free, yet he was luring her back again. Toying with her heart, touching her the way he knew she wanted. Tormenting her about the other men, thinking she didn’t know, but she knew.

“What’s wrong Hana? Where’s all that pent up rebellion gone? Why don’t you call Kadota in here?”

He was testing her, tormenting her on purpose. She had seen his shaking fists, knew the red demon was close to the brink. It made her afraid, not for herself, but Kadota.

“Don’t hurt him.” she pleaded in a whisper, eyes snapping open.  
“You want favors now Hana? I tried to help you and you kept on this path.”  
“You forced me on this path with all of your bullshit!-”

Her annoyance at the man was making an appearance, she forgot who she was trying to protect and pushed his hand away.

“My life was fine before you showed up...and started..ALL OF THIS.” she fumed.  
“You’re the one who formed a teenage crush,” he said, his words like venom.

_They cut to her heart, causing a tear to break through her barricade._

“Who are you trying to convince, you or me, hmm Akabayashi?” she spat.  
“I’m almost old enough to be your father. What did you think was going to happen Hana?”  
“That doesn’t stop you from fucking Anri...do you get off, pretending she’s her mother?”

The man froze, taking a step away from Hana.

Finally, Hana had broken through something, pierced the skin that seemed impenetrable, and it felt so good. Her pain burned into fury and the need to hurt him the way he hurt her.

She stepped forward after him; “How’s it feel, taking advantage of the girl you made an orphan. Does filling her up with your cum redeem your damned soul?”

“You’re a naive girl Hana Awakusu,” he replied, turning away from her to leave.

Her only reaction was to swing at the man. Her fist collided with the side of his face, sending his glasses flying. Her left hand was already reaching for the vase on the dresser, swinging it towards his head, but his reflexes kicked in after the first hit connected.

His hand grabbed her arm, twisting it away and tossing her to the bed roughly. He was on top of her, holding her throat, his mutilated eye bulging red.

“This what you want Hana, want me to fuck you like this?” he said, his face twisted in a maniacal grin.

She punched his nose and he freed her throat to pin her arms.

“I hate you.” Hana screamed, her face wet with her angry tears.  
“Hate that you want to fuck me, come on Hana, you want a mobster, you want the darkside, here I am.”  
“I never want you anywhere near me again. Fuck her as often as you want, but never try and make yourself believe it wasn’t you who fucked this up.”

His hand collided with the side of her face, her cheek instantly swelling. She expected another hit, waited, eyes closed tightly, but nothing came.

Her eyes opened and Hana remembered her companion. Kadota stood to Hana’s right, Kobayashi's switch knife pointed at his throat.

“Get your stuff and get the hell out of here,” Kadota said in a deadly calm.  
“Naaw, but we were just getting to the good part.”

Kadota pushed harder, a drop of blood hitting Hana’s cheek.

Akabayashi kept his eyes glued to Hana’s, the red fading away. The demon was leaving and the man was returning. He was truly like two entities. Hana could see the change in him, see him process the quivering girl beneath her. He struggled internally.

“Alright Pretty boy, you can point that thing somewhere else.”  
“If you ever lay another hand on this girl again I do not care if you are an Awakusu, I will kill you,” Kadota said, the knife following Akabayashi as he stood.

He rummaged around, placing his glasses back and taking the cane Kadota offered back to him. Hana remained where she was, too shocked to move. Her chest heaved, but her eyes watched the two, standing nose and nose, weighing each other as gangsters did.

“Hana, your knight in shining armor is the only smart decision you’ve made. Don’t fuck it up with Izaya Orihara.” Akabayashi warned with a grin, before taking his leave.

Kadota was beside her, “Are you okay, why didn’t you call me?”

His hand gently touched her swelling cheek while pulling her into a sitting position. She stared at him, her heart swimming with more feelings than she knew how to handle.

“I was afraid.” she confessed.  
“Of course you were, you’re a 100 pound girl vs that guy.”  
“I was afraid of choosing the darkness, Kadota...why do I love him…?”

The words fell from her mouth, the first time she had been able to admit them. To a man she just met, who might throw her on her ass for her confession. She felt like an idiot, but she just wanted someone to explain her twisted fascination to her.

“Only you can answer that Hana, but it doesn’t matter. I’ll help you, if you ask for my help I’ll help you find a new life.”

His words were the light, she needed to run after it, and not look back.

“Please help me Kadota.” she pleaded,

She knew the darkness would fade, but the glint of red would never leave the back of her mind, waiting for its moment to again capture her in it’s gaze.

_Love was the greatest of enemies, one that would bring more ruin than Hana ever thought possible._


	6. I'm still haunted by the memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m sorry, I just…” she trailed off embarrassed.  
> “Don’t ever apologize for the pain that man inflicted on you.” He replied sternly.  
> “How’d you know?”  
> “Hana, do you ever listen? I saw you from the moment you walked into Russia Sushi. You think your walls hide what you’re feeling but they give you away...You’re so much like her..”  
> “Who?”  
> “My mother.”
> 
> Hana looked at him with curious eyes, uncertain what he meant.
> 
> “My dad, he used to drink a lot. It was just a normal thing. She always put us to bed before he got home, and always made us promise to never listen or leave our bedroom. If we did, we’d get something special, like candy.” he trailed off, as though uncertain how to convey something of the utmost importance.  
> “I saw her face, but I never understood, not until years later. Even when he was gone, he was still there. Hana, you can’t let him linger. I swear to you, it is possible to live without fear. Trust me to make it your reality.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry my readers. I am a bad updater. But I have just spam-written three chapters since I am on spring break. (I just started my first quarter at college and it was a lil CRAZY) so hopefully these chapters will make up for my lack of posting and assure you-- THIS FICTION ISN'T DEAD.!! The dream lives on. :)

The townhome was quaint. Its beaten up exterior made Hana feel oddly cozy. She had been unsure of her future after leaving her apartment. She had looked back at it one last time, knowing it could never be home again--she would never want to go back. Life there had been a violent lie and she had clung to whatever she could to make sense of it. The Red Demon could never give her the home she wanted.

Being in Kadota’s home, it was the exact opposite of everything she had ever known.

_It was noisy, oh so noisy._

People always dropping by, on top of the four of them already living there. There was never a shortage of people looking for good guy Kadota. He was well loved by all, and Hana understood why.

Many questioned his decision to take in the Awakusu orphan, but it only took a word from Kadota himself to silence the critics and create a place for Hana in the group. It was more than Hana had asked for, and her broken heart was more thankful than she could convince herself to voice.

Hana chopped mindlessly. Pausing to look at her un-bandaged hand. It had finally healed, but it would always be mutilated. She let go of the knife to touch the scarred skin. It had been three months since since Hana had last seen Akabayashi. She tried not to think about him, forcing herself to find contentment in her new life.

_But his marks would never leave her body, and red always lingered deep in her heart._

A finger joined her own, delicately tracing the groove of scarred flesh. It startled her, looking up to meet the dark eyes watching he quietly.

Kadota was always quiet, but his presence was always secure and comforting, even in his silence. From time to time Hana would feel herself being sucked into the void of despair that lingered just beyond the surface. When life stopped moving and the moon was bright she couldn’t ignore the pain. Somehow, Kadota always found her in those moments. He never judged her, or told her it was wrong. He was simply, just there, reminding her she never had to do it alone. They’d sit side by side in the silence for hours, letting the night sky change overhead, the bustling of Ikebukuro an alluring sound for both of them. Then he would leave, patting her head to start his night of work, Hana retreating to her bed for sleep. And then the two of them again passing at dawn, her to school and him to his bed after a long night.

His worn out face somehow always managed to have a smile for her before she left. Giving her a paternal pep talk about studying hard and not getting into trouble. She would roll her eyes at him and his own would crinkle at the sides. Yet, Hana found herself trying harder. Where her grades had slipped she worked with her teachers to bring them back up.

The teachers had always been afraid of Hana Awakusu, but it seemed as though even they knew something had changed. They sat with her at lunch times, and helped her outline her future. There were hard questions being asked of her. A future outside of the one she had been groomed for. She didn’t know what there was outside of her father's business. She had never wanted to look before.

Kadota’s finger on her palm eased the anxiety she had been feeling. He was always proud of her, always cheering her on. But she hadn’t found the courage to tell him what she dreamed of doing. Even though her teacher had confirmed, if she kept on her path she had the grades to pursue the degree she needed. She would certainly be accepted into a program. And she was already applying for distinctions. Still, in her heart and in the air between her conversations with her teacher, Tadashi. It was there.

_Her name would always be in her way._

She could never stop being defined by: **Awakusu**.

“Agonizing silently never helps anything” he said, breaking their silence.  
“I think perhaps you're projecting your own feelings onto me” she replied, unable to stop her emotional barrier from going up.

She just didn’t know how to vocalize her fear, but Kadota always made her. Perhaps if she avoided the question enough he wouldn’t pick up on it.

“I don’t know why you think I don’t see you. But I do, and that fear of abandonment of yours, haven’t I proven to it-- I’m not going anywhere?”

Hana’s breath caught in her chest, emotion weighing on her heart.

“I’m just afraid of hoping that escape is possible Kadota. I will never stop being Hana Awakusu, and no matter how hard I try to make my own name, Awakusu will dictate my future.”  
“So you decided then? Are you going to finally tell me how your career path advising day went?” he smirked.  
“How’d you know I had my advising day?”  
“A blonde haired bird told me.” he winked.  
“Masaomi you rat.” she huffed under her breath.  
“The kid is just worried about you.”

Hana exhaled, pulling her mutilated hand away from Kadotas knowing touch.

“Kadota, I love Ikebukuro, I never want to leave, but can I exist in this city apart from the underbelly?”

**“DOTACHIN.”** Erica yelled, bursting into the kitchen, dragging Anri behind her.

Anri’s face was red, but she smiled brightly at Hana.

“Hello, sorry for barging in like this.” Anri said politely.

Kadota moved away from Hana, making her realize how close they had been standing to each other. She felt relieved and frustrated by the new visitors. She didn’t want the answer to her question. But she also found herself reliant on the comfort Kadota brought her.

_When his brown eyes looked at her, she knew he saw her and was never afraid to keep her gaze._

“DINNER PARTY.” Erica squealed, returning Hana to the activities before her.

Walker rolled in behind Erica a group of laughing dollars following behind them. They all moved towards the dining room table, dragging Kadota with them. He laughed, but glanced back at Hana. His face was apologetic, but she glanced away quickly. Sometimes she just wanted to be near Kadota, but she also felt the urge to run away everytime she let too much of herself slip out. He said it was safe, but she still wasn’t comfortable enough with herself to believe in that safety.

Instead, she busied herself, doing what she did best. Pouring rice into the cooker, she immediately began cooking a feast for the guests. Chopping vegetables in furious motions. She watched them from time to time, as they pulled out the sake and began pouring drinks. Erica even managed to convince Anri to have a drink. Her face turned a delicious red, all the guys giving her goofy smiles as her reserved nature began to ease.

It cut at Hana’s heart. Anri was a reminder of the truth. A truth Hana couldn’t think about. Her heart throbbed, threatening to bring the memories back to the surface. She turned away from Anri, taking a deep breath to steady the tears that wanted to burst free. She needed to be strong enough for Mikado. The thought of his smiling face gave her the the motivation to overcome the emotions. She reached into the fridge for the soy sauce and vinegar, preparing to make a sauce, turning back towards the counter she smashed into Kadota’s firm chest. His hands took hold of her shoulders to steady her.

“I didn’t realize you were there.” Hana said with an apologetic smile.  
“I came to see if you needed any help.” he answered, blowing the sweet smell of sake onto her face.

Hana felt suddenly nervous, trying to resist the blush that wanted to rise to her cheeks.

“I spilled on you.” Hana said, moving towards the sink as an excuse to put distance between them.

She wet a cloth and then moved back to wipe Kadota’s blue shirt, avoiding his eyes.

“I just need to plate the shrimp, and get the rice out.” she rambled, trying to keep her voice from quivering and her hands steady.  
“Don’t worry about that.” he said, taking the cloth from her.

She looked up at him, his expression telling her he saw through her. But he said nothing. Obliging her as she plated their meal. The cheers told her that her efforts were well received. A few drunken kisses made their way to her cheeks, and one stray hand reached for her butt, which was answered with a smash to the gut. It had been a while since she had done any proper fighting, but her accuracy remained.

Everyone laughed as their pal fell to the floor gasping for air. Hana stole the seat next to Anri. The girl was onto her second drink and it showed. She was unusually at ease and talkative, her red cheeks smiling up at at Hana. Erica tried to pass a sake towards Hana, but she passed it to Saburo who was sitting beside her, and he downed it before anyone realized Hana had rejected it.

She filled her plate with rice, feeling Kadota’s eyes on her from across the table. It made her heart thump more. She refused to acknowledge it, turning instead to laugh at Anri.

“Oh, Hana this meal is amazing.” she gushed.  
“I glad it’s worthy of a wonderful guest like you Anri.”  
“How are you so perfect Hana, I just don’t know how you do it all.”

Hana looked at Anri, startled. Her brown eyes were glinting with admiration, as her hands wrapped around Hana’s own.

“Anri you’re the most perfect girl around.” Hana laughed, handing the drunk girl some water. “Here, eat with me, get some food in that belly.”

Erica nearly died, glancing towards Anri, half sitting in Hana’s lap, gushing sweet, drunken nothings. Hana rubbed her head mindlessly, as she slipped spoonfuls of rice around Anri’s head. She was uncomfortably aware of the intoxication level of their audience. Greedy male eyes, watching the two of them out of the corners of their eyes. Though their conversation was polite, she felt the appetite of men around them.

Handing Anri off to Erica, Hana decided to clear the table and avoid anymore girl on girl fantasies being projected onto her and Anri. She grabbed the chocolate mousse from the fridge and dished up bowls to the happy guests as they made their way to the living room for a karaoke session.

_Apparently, it was going to be a long Friday night._

Hana hung behind, clearing up the dishes and putting away the leftovers. The sake sat on the table, a glass remaining next to it. Throwing caution to the wind she poured a shot and then dumped it down her throat, gagging slight. She hoped she wouldn't regret it.

Hana laughed, hearing Anri begin the karaoke session to the cheers of everyone else. She followed the perfect melody into the packed living room.

“Hana come here and sit by me!” Erica yelled, pulling her in between her and Kadota.

Hana felt suspicious of drunk Erika’s motivations. But let her anxiety go as Anri hit her chorus. The girl was ridiculously adorable when her inhibitions were gone. She ended her ballad, flinging herself onto Hana’s lap. Hana caught the drunken girl as she nearly fell backwards. Anri wrapped her arms around Hana’s neck and her soft lips encompassed Hana’s. Anri pushed inclose, her soft chest colliding into Hana’s own chest.

The enthusiasm of the kiss knocked Hana backwards, causing her to plop into Kadota’s lap. Black hair blocked her vision, and loud howling hurt her ears. Shock emanated from all Hana’s limbs, painful memories breaking to the surface. Anri was the closest thing she’d ever get to kissing Akabayashi.

_These lips routinely pleasured the man she…loved._

It was a twisted joke. Something even Hana could never imagine. Anri’s hands straying over Hana’s body, her tongue pushing into her mouth. It immobilized Hana. She wanted to runaway, as memories flashed through her vision. The drowning sensation bursting through the gates of her heart. She didn’t know what to do, Anri was drinking, and the entire room...their greedy male gaze wanted more. But Hana didn’t want more, she didn’t want any of it.

She couldn’t let them dictate to her anymore. She was a fighter, no more of the helpless bullcrap that had been beaten into her. Anri wasn’t going to hurt her to the Akaybashi had, Hana didn’t need to be afraid.

Gaining her courage she pushed drunk Anri off of her. She couldn’t make it her responsibility to watch out for her intoxicated friend, Erica would need to care for her. Sitting up, she slipped out from beneath Anri and b-lined for the door. She couldn’t look at Kadota, not any of them. Her eyes were welling with betrayal and her breathing came in forced gasps. She moved, eyes blurring. She needed to escape, freedom, fresh air.

The door opened and the winter night air hit her face. It hadn’t snowed yet in Ikebukuro but it seemed cold enough for the possibility.

The door clanged behind her, someone was following after her. She didn’t want to them to catch her.

“Hana wait.”

A hand grabbed her shoulder, but she yanked herself away. The world was closing in around her. The sky that felt so free, was now a box. The stars disappearing and blackness encompassing her. She didn’t know how to make it stop, her chest tightening as though her lungs would never accept oxygen again. Her eyes rolling with tears.

The hand returned, the grip forceful. It pushed her towards the cement garden wall, turning her around to face him. Kadota held her firmly against the wall.

His face blurred and in its place a red eye blurred. He was growling down at her, the way he always had before inflicting pain. The fear in her chest made her recoil as his hands moved to her face.

“Hana, look at me.”

The voice was Kadota’s

He gripped her face gently.

“Breathe” he commanded, demonstrating the breathing patterns he wanted her to make.

She only hiccuped, unable to control her erratic gasps.

“Focus on me. I’m Kadota, I won’t hurt you Hana. You’re safe..” “You’re safe…” he repeated.

Her hand moved to press against the one holding her cheek, as though it were all she had to keep her steady. His thumbs wiped a puddle of tears from her cheeks. Hana focused on the brown eyes, so full of concern. It didn’t matter that the world was closing in behind Hana. If Kadota was there, she would be safe. Nothing would hurt anymore. He would never hit her or force her. The painful memories of the violent man she loved eased back inside of her, being buried in their safe place again.

Hana knew it wouldn’t be as simple as she wanted to be, but she was disappointed that she had been triggered after so long of being careful. It wasn’t Anri’s fault, Hana had let her guard down.

Getting over her broken heart had only been the first ordeal. Although it was more, ignoring than getting over. Hana wasn’t sure if she’d ever stop having feelings for the man, but she did know the importance of ignoring them and focusing on her life. She developed a habit of forcing the memories away, pretending they weren’t real whenever her heart had hurt.

But after awhile, from time to time, her anxiety would spike. And certain things would send her into convulsions of fear. Erica raising an arm, sending a flashback of Akabayashi hitting her across the face. Anri on top of her had been too painfully familiar to the last encounter she had with the man. There were times Hana was unable to discern reality from the memory.

She felt like a nut case, her chest easing its marathon. Blurred vision clearing to show her the lines of worry on Kadota’s face.

“I’m sorry, I just…” she trailed off embarrassed.  
“Don’t ever apologize for the pain that man inflicted on you.” He replied sternly.  
“How’d you know?”  
“Hana, do you ever listen? I saw you from the moment you walked into **Russia Sushi**. You think your walls hide what you’re feeling but they give you away...You’re so much like her..”  
“Who?”  
“My mother.”

Hana looked at him with curious eyes, uncertain what he meant.

“My dad, he used to drink a lot. It was just a normal thing. She always put us to bed before he got home, and always made us promise to never listen or leave our bedroom. If we did, we’d get something special, like candy.” he trailed off, as though uncertain how to convey something of the utmost importance.  
“I saw her face, but I never understood, not until years later. Even when he was gone, he was still there. Hana, you can’t let him linger. I swear to you, it is possible to live without fear. Trust me to make it your reality.”

Hana’s head forced its way through Kadota’s gentle hands, falling onto his chest. Her arms wrapped around his waist and she clung to him.

_A hug...something so simple yet so essential._

He responded in kind, gently rubbing her lower back. Hana couldn’t remember the last time, or anytime someone had held in this manner. It just wasn’t accepted for gang members to hug, and her father only had enough affection for one daughter.

It was a bittersweet moment, Hana’s chest exploding with ease, but anger also fumed in her-- for the neglect and abuse that had brought her to this place.

 

* * *

 

 The morning dawned brightly in Kadota’s bedroom window. Hana’s head felt irritated and groggy. The evenings events weighed on her chest. She closed her eyes, taking a long smell of the soft pillow beneath her head. It smelled of his musky scent. It brought a smile to Hana’s face. His room was plain, everything neatly in its place. It lacked anything that would tell an observer about his interests or nature. It was just a room, and Kadota just slept here.

Hana didn’t know how long she had remained in the arms that held her. But when they returned to the house, all its occupants were passed out in various places. Erica and Anri were snug in Hana’s bed. Kadota dragged Hana to his room, tucking her into bed before she could object.

He left without a word. Hana thought about calling him back, but her tired eyes closed without her consent. Sending her into a dream filled landscape of darkness and light. She was thankful to be free’d from them come dawn.

Creeping through the silent house, she saw Kadota sound asleep with their guests on the sofa. Hana snagged her purse and left. She intended to get breakfast and then brave returning to her dojo.

The morning was brisk, Hana bundled in a hat and jacket. She decided on a warm soup for breakfast, wanting to raise her core temperature. The agony the cold was something Hana hated. Her body seemed to have the inability to warm itself, making winter her most hated season. The idea of the impending snow sent her into convulsions of disgust. It served no good purpose and made everything hard to do, and jogging outside was basically impossible because you would just slip every three steps.

The sun was bright, but nowhere near warm, but she was glad for it. At 8 am on a Saturday, Ikebukuro was quiet. The city still asleep from its Friday night adventures. She smiled as she walked down the familiar streets she loved. A few children chasing each other as they headed towards their Saturday morning clubs. It was pure innocence, unlike the childhood she had growing up.

Saturday mornings had always been about cleaning up what the degenerates had left behind on Friday nights. Akabayashi often dragged home limp corpses to be interrogated, after catching them on Awakusu turf.

His immaculate suits were always blood stained on Saturday mornings, and he reeked of liquor, often taking a last shot of whiskey before patting Hana’s head and heading off to sleep.

She was always morbidly fascinated with what Friday nights were like, always prying her face in, snooping, learning as much about the darkness as she could (to the strong man's dismay.) Perhaps he had known, she should have spent her time running down the streets with her friends on a Saturday morning, not trying to be a part of a torture session.

The doorstep of the dojo stood just a head, Hana’s heart thumping in her chest. Pushing past her fear she marched straight in, colliding with two small bodies as the door swung open.

The three of them fell to the floor in a pile, Hana blinking and finding Mairu and Kururi beneath her.

“Hana Awakusu!” Kururi squealed as they dislodged themselves.  
“How’s it going?” Hana asked awkwardly.

_Running into Izaya Orihara’s sisters was not of Hana’s list of things to do today._

“Did you come here because of Akane?” Mairu asked in her monotone voice.

Something about the look in her eyes made Hana worry.

“No, is something wrong?”  
“Akane, ran away from home!” Kururi exclaimed.  
“But Shiki found her with the headless rider, after AKane had challenged Shizuo Heiwajima to a duel, insisting she would kill him.” Mairu, continued.  
“But then a Russian Assassin showed up and took her!” Kururi finished, sounding more excited than seemed proper.

Hana’s mouth fell open, her head reeling from the information. How on earth would Akane get into such trouble, and why had the need to kill Shizuo come up so suddenly? It was very unlike her sister, who had been sheltered her entire life. Hana had the prickling suspicion that the absence of Izaya in her own life was a clear indicator of his hand in the events.

There was no way that Shizuo would harm a little girl, the man had a temper, but he was a good guy. The Russian assassin however. There had been a couple that moved into town that seemed to be causing trouble. They were of interest to the Awakusu but not yet on their radar. It appeared they took jobs from whoever was willing to pay and were not working for any specific gangs.

Hana wondered if they realized what kidnapping Akane would mean for them. Either way Hana needed to find them. She turned tail and sprinted down the street. Akane had been with the headless rider, the rider Shinra had mentioned. His one true love. Hana would start there, she knew where Shinra lived and would force him to answer her questions.

 

* * *

 

Shinra, as a doctor, was able to afford to live in the richer, safer part of Ikebukuro. High rise condos littered the skyline, the streets unusually clean and full of white collared businessmen. It was a different world than the one Hana knew and loved. The doorbell jingled prettily and the door creaked open, a long sleek body, clad in a leather biking suit stood before Hana. The figure wore a peculiar yellow helmet and spoke no words. The amazing figure and awesome cleavage was the only indicator that the figure was female.

An unsettling aura emanated from the being, it did not feel human to Hana. It sent a prickling up her spine.

**Headless rider…**

She had never stopped to consider what that title had referred to. She just assumed it was a strange nickname...But she was beginning to wonder if the urban legend was in fact-- the truth.

The beautiful, terrifying being said no words, instead it pulled out an ancient flip phone and typed furiously, extending her message towards Hana.

WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DO YOU WANT?

“Sorry, I am Hana Awakusu, a friend of Shinra and sister to Akane. I heard she had been here. I was wondering if you could give me any information on the last 24 hours.” Hana replied, tentatively.

Before the rider could answer, Shinra poked his head around the door.

“Hana!! come in!! Celty, stop being a big scary beast and let the girl in.” He said affectionately, planting a giant kiss on the side of her helmet.

They sat at the kitchen bar, Shrina handing Hana a mug of coffee, as she stared transfixed at the headless rider, dubbed Celty.

“Don’t be afraid Hana. This is Celty, my one true love!”  
“Nice to meet you.” Hana bowed.

YOUR SISTER WAS HERE LAST NIGHT AND LEFT WITH SHIZUO THIS MORNING, IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT? Celty typed furiously.

“I heard from the Orihara sisters that a Russian assassin picked her up along the way.”

SLOAN?

“I’m not positive who, there were two in the city, so it’s reasonable that they are in it together, but they take any jobs. SO where they’d be taking her is hard to say.”

I KNOW WHERE THE RUSSIANS HIDEOUT IS LOCATED.

Celty moved away towards a computer to pull up a map of the old warehouse district. Pointing out where she knew the Russians to be.

I’LL SCOUT OUT THE CITY AND YOU HEAD HERE.

Hana nodded her head, thanking her and sprinted door. It was about a half an hour jog, but Hana didn’t mind. Her legs needed the stretch and her stressed heart needed a distraction.

She hadn’t seen her sister for months. Akane loved Hana unlike the rest of the family. She wasn’t allowed to visit very often, but they always had an enjoyable time when she did. Akane was a sweet, innocent girl, who loved fiercely. The idea that she might be in the hands of gangsters brought a lump to Hana’s throat.

 

* * *

 

 Charging in was foolish, but Hana was moved by emotion, jogging up the stairs of the dark warehouse. She was running into the lair of armed assassins. Rounding the corner, Hana saw a head of purple hair across the room looking out the window.

Hana made to sprint towards Akane, but a foot collided with her side, sending her flying into some chairs. She grunted, being rolled over before she could gather herself, booted feet stepping onto her arms, pinning them to the floor.

Hana looked up into the face of a blonde beauty. Blue eyes, long blonde hair, she was a picture of Hana herself. It wasn’t very often she saw anything out of the norm in a sea of dark haired people. A gun was held in her hands, pointed between Hana’s eyes.

_She intended to kill…_

It was a strange sensation, looking up the barrel of a gun, knowing how quickly her life could end. Hana found herself unable to speak. She could only stare, transfixed by the face that controlled her destiny.

“Hana!” Akane screamed.  
“What fool rushes in unarmed.” The woman said in a thick Russian accent.  
“That is the girl’s bastard sister.” The man replied, his own accent barely discernible.  
“Wasting a life is stupidity, and if you loved your sister you would not have come here to make her watch you die.”  
“You won’t kill me.” Hana replied with a conviction that even surprised her.

Blue eyes narrowed, angered by the challenge.  
But Hana saw through the facade. The girl was looking for a challenge, for a purpose. Wandering through Ikebukuro, taking any jobs that came her way. It was a common experience for those fighters who truly loved their craft.

“Did Izaya lead you to Shizuo Heiwajima?” Hana pressed.  
“You know the strong man?”  
“I know that it is directly in the interest of Izaya to bring Shizuo into your radar.”  
“Shizu-chan! He’s mine, I’ll be the one to kill him!.” Akane exclaimed loudly, stamping her feed.

Veronica didn’t reply, instead pressing the gun point blank at Hana’s forehead.

“So it was Izaya who hired you.”  
“You..” “Veronica, behind you.” Sloan yelled, cutting her off mid sentence.

Veronica dove just in time, dodging the cane that swung at her head. She rolled away, assuming a defensive position. With the pistol gone from her face, Hana looked, seeing the red demon leaning against his cane a few feet away from where Hana laid.

His mouth sat in a crooked, maniacal smile, and his glasses glinted, as the rest of the Awakusu filed in behind him.

“It’s not very often I get to tango with a pretty lady like you.” Akabayashi taunted, moving towards Veronica.

She dove straight back at him, engaging in a furious fist fight as the rest of the gang jumped after Sloan. Hana scrambled to her knee’s, rushing towards a horrified Akane.

“Come here.” Hana ordered, scooping Akane into her her arms, and forcing her to look away from the violence.  
“Plug your ears, and sing this song with me Akane, you’re safe, just trust me.”

Hana hummed a tune as Akane sang the melody, her shaking body tucked into Hana’s chest. Over her soft head, Hana watched Akabayashi toss Veronica to the ground, foot stepping on the woman's groin.

“Pity doll, it’s a nice pussy, but business is business and you messed with the Awakusu.” He said, before jamming her in the arm with a syringe, that made her go limp.

The other assassin was bloodied on the floor, being dragged away by the Awakusu.  
“This little lady has been offered a second chance, leave her with Denis, Sloan will pay the price.” Akabayashi ordered.

He watched them file out, tapping his cane idly, before turning his gaze on Hana. Hana’s heart thumped in her chest. She was full of fear and anticipation. But Akane was with her, so she knew Akabayashi wouldn’t hurt her. She hadn’t set eyes on the man since their last encounter. As much as she wanted to believe she was stronger since then, she couldn’t be sure.

Akane lifted her head, realizing the room was empty.

“You came to rescue me Hana.” She smiled, kissing her on the cheek.  
“I was so worried about you Akane. I didn’t do a very good job of rescuing you, but Akabayashi did.” Hana smiled, caressing her hair affectionately.  
“I miss you Hana, papa won’t tell me why you went away.”

Hana gave a sad smile.

“I’m always here Akane, papa is just a bit angry with my choices, but it won’t last forever, I promise.”

Akane gave her a big squeeze, “Okay Hana, I’ll tell papa how you came for me, there's no way he can stay mad at you.”  
“You should go let papa know you’re alright, him and mama will be worried sick.”

Akane, climbed from Hana’s lap and ran to Akabayashi, hugging his leg, as the strong man squatted down and gave her a genuine smile.  
“Shiki is waiting down stairs little miss, to escort the princess home, and maybe stop for some ice cream along the way.” He winked before patting her head.

Hana climbed to her feet, standing awkwardly in the corner, feeling like a trapped cat. Akane’s footsteps echoed as they faded down the stairs. He watched Hana silently, before closing the distance between them.

Hana wanted to recoil, afraid what would happen next, but she held herself steady. She met his eyes, her heart pounding in her chest.

“Bit of a stupid plan rushing in here. Did you have any last regrets with that pistol pointing at your face?” He smirked.  
“Yeah, not beating the shit out of you for Anri’s sake.” Hana replied dryly.  
“Seems like I’m not the only one who’s taken advantage of that girl.”  
“What’s that mean?”  
“You’re a dollar now, don’t you check out their forums? There’s some video of you and Anri, looks like you were having a pretty good time.” He answered, eyebrow raised.

Hana’s face burned in embarrassment. She hadn’t for a second considered someone might have filmed that, much less put it online. The fury inside of her burned brightly at the betrayal of her privacy. The red demon appeared to find her dilemma amusing, grinning broadly at her.

“It wasn’t like that.” she murmured.  
“It wasn’t like what? Those perfectly soft lips on yours? Full breasts on your own.” He taunted, looking her up and down approvingly.

Hana didn’t feel like listening to his bullshit. She made to move around him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of humiliating her any further. He sidestepped, his strong body blocking her exit.

Her heart dropped at his closeness, pulse quickening. She was hoping he wouldn’t push her any further. It was nearly impossible for her to distinguish if what she felt was fear or arousal, but her instinct to retreat, not wanting Akabayashi to force them to find out. She stumbled backwards until she hit the wall. He followed her, like a vulture seeking it’s prey.

Inches separated them, Hana’s chest moving noisily up and down, as he loomed over her. She closed her eyes, trying to make it go away, to summon any ounce of strength she had. Letting Kadota’s soft brown eyes washing over the darkness.

A hand interrupted her, holding her chin and tilting it upwards, her eyes snapping open to stare at her tormenter.

“I think you’ve missed this.” He said.  
“I just came here to know Akane was safe. Please let me go.” Hana said, voice shaking.  
“It’s been months, I was sure that pretty boy would have been the one to subdue that addiction to the darkness of yours.”

It was an endless game with the strong man. He was always toying with her heart. Her body never listened. As much as she knew she needed to be away from him, her body always felt intoxicated by his presence, His touch sent tingles over her, his closeness making her pine for him to break the distance.

She tried to push past him again, but his left palm pushed her flat against the wall, his face leaning in close to hers, lips looming as though he wanted her own lips as much as she wanted his.

“I’ve stayed away, I started my new life.” she trembled, not sure if she was trying to convince herself or him.

“But you’re still tempted. Why do you still want me.” he whispered, his lips moving away from her lips to kiss her neck gently.

Her head leaned back, eyes rolling towards the ceiling. A moan escaped her, it was pure bliss. His lips trailing along her neck, fingers slowly dancing up her hip, pushing her shirt aside to find flesh.

She stared at the ceiling, holding herself perfectly still, fists pressed against the wall, to keep them occupied. SHe couldn’t reach for him, as badly as she wanted to grab a fist full of hair, she couldn’t let the man win.

_She wanted it. She needed him so badly._  
But she ignored the impulse, begging the ceiling to give her strength. She couldn’t give in. She had come so far for Kadota. She couldn’t let this man take whatever he wanted.

“Why do you have to do this.” She whispered.

His lips moved around her neck, hands gripping her hip firmly. Forcing another gasp of ecstacy.

“Because you still like it.”

She did like it. And she hated herself even more for liking it. For wanting him to rip away her clothing and force himself inside of her. She wanted him to take her virginity, on the dirty floor, covered in the blood of gangsters. Pounding her into the ecstacy that made her forget the pain.

When his hands touched her like this, it made her forget the pain they also inflicted. They made shallow promises her body was eager to accept, but her heart refused. It had been strengthened by Kadota’s encouragement, and she was no longer the naive girl he liked to take advantage of.

“You think it’s easy.” She choked, her tears finally breaking through. “Loving you has caused me more pain than your hands ever could. These hands of yours, that I’ve only ever wanted to to touch me this way, to feel this ecstasy, but instead had to endure knowing they touched Anri instead. How can you humiliate me now Akabayashi. The pain you caused doesn’t just go away, and neither does the love I have for you, but don’t say I haven’t been trying, just because you can bully your way in here.”

_“I think it’s you who has the regret.”_

His fingers stopped, face moving away from her neck. He watched her a moment before rubbing his nose with his thumb and index finger, as though to relieve a headache.

“The darkness never goes away Hana. Perhaps you can be better than me and realize you don’t have to answer every time it calls.” He said quietly, moving his lips to her cheek.

His hand gently held her hip, as though unwilling to let her go, but before she could respond, he had pulled away and left her standing in a daze, as he limped across the room.

She was an idiot and she knew it. She was in love with the wrong man.

The right man was waiting for her, _but Hana didn’t deserve him._


End file.
